TW: drugs, horrorcore, depression, death, abuse"So be careful what you wish for, 'cause you just might get it
And if you get it, then you just might not know what to do with it
'Cause it might just come back on you ten-fold" -Careful What You Wish For
It's been a while, huh? The last time, I spent a post to introduce you to Eminem's characters and to their origin stories. Today's post is all about Marshall's downfall, at least according to many fans. You can find the last post here:
https://theowlhouse.fandom.com/f/p/4400000000000191576
It's December 2007. Marshall was hospitalized due to a near-fatal sleeping pill overdose. He had those drug problems for years. He needed those pills to sleep due to him having insomnia at this point of his life. Then there also was the fact, that Marshall suffered through depression. His latest album 'Encore' performed terribly, a month prior, in October 2004, his uncle Todd comitted. That made him Marshall's 3rd father figure who ended his life. And then in April 2006 there was the most traumatic death in Marshall's life - his best friend Proof, the founder of D12, who he had been friends with since they were kids, got fatally shot in the heart after an argument in one of 8 Mile Road's clubs - this happened right in front of Marshall's eyes.
In the song 'Deja Vu', Marshall claims that he woke up in an ambulance after closing his bedroom's door. After taking some time in the hospital to recover, a depressed, traumatized and possibly brain damaged Eminem went to rehab for half a year. If he would've been hospitalized for just 2 hours later, he would've been dead, so the rapper.
In rehab he wrote the first verse and chorus for one of 'Relapse's songs. But not just a song, but the best song on the whole album, and arguably Em's best song of all time, 'Beautiful'. But there was one problem - Marshall Mathers, one of the greatest rappers of all time, forgot how to rap. In addition, he had to work on his health. Eminem was not just overweight because of his drug usuage, but his body was generally damaged by it. So he basically healed his mental and physical health while working out, being on diets and re-learning how to rap.
In April 2008 he got clean, released from rehab and started working on 'Relapse', including the song he wrote while recovering. Marshall has been sober since then and he deeply regrets his usuage of drugs, because it destroyed his relationship to his ex-wife Kim and made not only his life, but also the life of his family and friends harder.
Let's do a time skip to may 2009, when Eminem released 'Relapse' and 'Relapse: Deluxe Edition', which was/is exclusive to streaming services. Those also shared a cover. The deluxe edition featured 2 more songs and 2 music videos. Later that year, in December, Em released Relapse: Refill, which was Relapse with a new cover and 7 ADDITIONAL TRACKS plus 'My Darling' and 'Careful What You Wish For' from the deluxe edition.
(Relapse; Duration: 76 minutes)
(Also Relapse: Deluxe Edition; Duration: 85 minutes)
(Relapse: Refill; Duration: 119 minutes)
But that's enough of the story behind 'Relapse', let's go straight into it and the story it's telling. 'Relapse' is mostly dominated by Slim Shady, with a few Marshall songs. And because it's mostly Shady, it's a horrorcore album, full of disturbing lyrics. But Em combined it with disses and Slim Shady's unique comedic aspect, so the execution can be disturbing and hilarious at the same time. It's also mostly nothing like other horrorcore albums because 'Relapse' is very over the top, if not cartoonish. This includes all the characteristic horrorcore themes (I'd recommend 'Bastard' by Tyler The Creator if anyone wants to listen to a 'realer' horrorcore album) with a focus on drugs, especially sleeping pills. Some songs also have homophobic lyrics, just as a warning if anybody decides to listen to 'Relapse' (I just feel like I need to point out that Eminem is not homophobic because some of his older songs give/gave him that reputation).
Anyways, the album's tracks and skits aren't in chronological order. I spent a lot of time figuring out an order that would make sense. Basically, Marshall recovers, both mentally and physically, and makes the album while Shady just kills people. Sounds simple, but the album, especially Marshall's songs, has a much deeper and more emotional meaning. I'll take 'Relapse: Refill's track list for this since it's the definitive version of this album.
[15] Mr. Mathers (Skit)
This skit takes place in an ambulance. Marshall was unconscious. Yes, this resamples the night in which Em almost died to his drug overdose. He's taken care of by 2 medics, a man and a woman, who eventually saved his life.
[29] Careful What You Wish For
It's believed that Eminem wrote this song back in 2007, when his drug problem was at its highest. It starts with snippets of news commercials talking about Eminem's 'downfall'. In this period of time it was actually common believe that Em's career is over. The intro recaps most of the traumatic events that happened to Marshall in the last years. His bad relationship to his now again ex-wife Kim, some friends of him, including his best friend Proof, getting shot, and well, Marshall himself almost dying due to his drug addiction.
This song is mostly about Marshall's depression and regrets. At first, he wished to become famous, now it's a curse. All those things happening to him, critics taking shot after shot at him - all this is too much for Marshall to handle. His fans, people who he doesn't know and who most likely hadn't known him before he became big, sent letters to him, were praying for him. He appreciates the prayers, even though he doesn't understand what's happening. Why are those strangers praying for him? Looking back at everything he achieved, Marshall can't find words to describe it and his happiness while he also tells his audiance, to be careful what they wish for. Because his greatest wish metaphorically broke his neck.
Knowing that, those commercials now are even worse from Marshall's point of view. He can't even rest or take a break because wherever he is, wherever he goes, everyone will talk about him. There's no escape from that nightmare.
('Careful What You Wish For' also got a sequel with 'Almost Famous' on his 2010 album 'Recovery')
[16] Deja Vu
Like previously said, 'Deja Vu' is a summary of what happened before Marshall's overdose. It covers his unhealthy lifestyle, including an alcohol addiction. According to himself, Em lived so unhealthy that it even scared Hailie. This song shows Em's thoughts on addicted parents pretty well - Even though he wasn't abusive, his kids were scared of him and worried about him. An addicted parent doesn't have to be abusive to mentally scar their child because the kid worrying about their parents well-being can already be enough to do that.
The song also ends perfectly with its message in your mind. On the other hand its also really sad due to it being a real story. So, the last people who saw Marshall before his overdose were his adoptive daughter Alaina and his step-child Stevie. Those, at this point, respectively 14 and 5 years old children had to watch their adoptive father in a very bad state and nearly would've had to live with the thought that they were the last person who saw him before his death.
Summarized, in the evening Marshall said good night to his kids, closed their bedroom door, went to the bathroom and collapsed.
[3] My Mom
That's the second diss song that Eminem aimed at his mother. But different to 'Cleanin' Out My Closet', Marshall makes this a more comedic song while rapping about his relationship with his mom. As said in a previous post, Marshall and his mother Debbie had everything but a healthy relationship.
Em blamed his mother for him being an addict because she was addicted to the same drugs herself. The song is in many ways over-exaggerated, for example the lines where Em accused Debbie of having fed him with drugs or having trapped him in her basement. Even though the song's delivered comedic and crazy, there's no doubt that Debbie is one of the main reasons for Marshall's drug problem because he came in contact with drugs early in his life. Besides, the song's crazy delivery perfectly fits Marshall's situation in 'Relapse's story. He is depressed, almost died to an overdose and seems to go crazy.
This song and 'Deja Vu' show how much a drug addiction effects the relationship between parents and kids, no matter if the parent is abusive or not.
[1] Dr. West (Skit)
After about 5 months in rehab, Eminem became sober. This skit is about him talking to his doctor for one more time before he gets released. Dr. West also asked Em about his sponsors. Marshall told him, that he doesn't have any sponsors yet.
Now about Eminem's real sponsors, he has/had a lot. His biggest sponsor and one of his best friends is Elton John, who also helped Em on his way to recovery. John had drug problems himself earlier in his life. He understood Marshall and helped him a lot. According to Em, Elton John saved his life.
One of Em's other sponsors at the time was Monster Energy.
After his appointment, Marshall hears a voice in his head, which, of course, belongs to the revived Slim Shady. (We'll see Slim Shady dying and coming back more often in Em's albums because bro pulled more William Aftons than William Afton himself) And this conversation at the end of the skit opens
the next song in this storyline.
[28] My Darling
Basically, this song is a 5:21 minutes long conversation between Marshall Mathers and Slim Shady, with Marshall fighting for his sanity and Slim trying to get control of Marshall once more.
From this song on, there are two possibilities for what's going on in this album.
1) It is real. This would make Slim Shady supernatural, what wouldn't be weird considering Eminem (the character) being confirmed to be a cyborg two albums later 'Rap God'.
2) Most of the album is just in Marshall's head.
But since Slim Shady already canonically died, and well, the thing with Eminem, the 1st option is probably canon.
Everything starts with Marshall speaking to his reflection in the mirror, resembling Slim Shady. Shady tries to get control of Marshall again, promising to "give him his career back". Marshall tries to fight back but Slim also can effect the real world (yup, he's supernatural), calling Dr. Dre to manipulate Marshall even more. The call with Dre is also probably fake, due to Dre calling Mardhall "Slim". Marshall can't escape this hell. He even tries to kill himself, which didn't work due to Shady making him and himself immortal. Then Slim Shady reveals that Marshall prayed to God the night before Dre signed him and that he sold his soul to Shady. Considering the line "I sold my soul to the Devil, I’ll never get it back" from 'Say Goodbye Hollywood', Slim Shady is implied to be the devil himself.
At the end of the song, Shady and Marshall's voices merge as they sing the 3rd verse's last lines and the chorus together, implying that Marshall lost his battle. At least for now.
[6] Hello
Slim Shady is back. And he's kinda harmless, compared to his behavior in the older albums. Except for implying to eat someone, he isn't really that bad in this song. Slim just talks about drug addiction having a life-changing effect on someone. Well, and he shows his awful flirting skills.
[7] Tonya (Skit) & [8] Same Song & Dance
After flirting didn't work, Shady first kidnapped a woman called Tonya. Later he tastes blood, and goes back into simply killing people. The only reason to include those as specific points of the storyline is, besides Shady getting disturbingly aggressive again, the only tiny bit of continuity in the album's original song order.
All the other Slim Shady songs
Slim Shady just kills people. He references a lot of horror movies and true crime. Meanwhile he disses some people, dead or alive, and keeps the whole album in a rather comedic but also somehow disturbing style.
[11] Paul (Skit)
It's a tradition in Em's albums to inculde a skit resembling Paul Rosenberg, Eminem's manager, calling him. Normally he just wants the best for Marshall, but this time Paul is just pissed and doesn't care anymore. Mainly because the song 'Medicine Ball', where Slim Shady disses Christopher Reeves, who already was dead at this point.
A few years prior, before 'Encore' released, Em wanted to put a song about Reeves on the album, after his passing, Marshall removed it from the album and destroyed the only copy he had of the song. In the original Christopher Reeves song, Marshall dissed him, but also gave a lot of respect to Reeves. And well, Slim Shady on the other hand doesn’t know what respect is.
[13] Old Time's Sake
One more time for old time's sake, Slim Shady and Dr. Dre are smoking weed. The song's title and chorus are implying that it's really the last time this happens, so that Marshall can finally move on, become sober and leave Slim Shady behind. It also opens the next point on the storyline.
[19] Steve Berman (Skit)
Marshall's back! And he tries to get 'Relapse' ready to be sold. Even though Steve Berman is a real Interscope Records executive, his character is portrayed extremely exaggerated here. The skit brings up how Marshall shot the fictional Steve Berman in a skit in MMLP. This time, Marshall just leaves his 'Relapse'CDs. Yes, I mean CDs like in multiple albums, because originally Em planned to release 'Relapse 2', a secret to 'Relapse' which in the end got scrapped.
[17] Beautiful
And finally, we arrived at the album's best and my personal favorite Eminem song. 'Beautiful', the song that Marshall wrote when he was in Rehab. The first verse is depressing, but later the song gets more motivational.
It takes place on a concert after 'Relapse' got released. With this song, Em lets us to take a look into his heart and soul. He's been through so much, he considered quitting both, rap and life. But he didn't, and that's also the message he wants to tell us. 'Beautiful' is similar to 'The Way I Am' if we look purely at their topic. Both songs are about being yourself or desiring to be yourself and being accepted how you are. They are about how fame influenced Marshall's life. But other than 'The Way I Am', 'Beautiful' isn't just pure aggression. It's full of depression, sadness, and hopelessness, but also determination and hope.
And I feel like there's no better way to end this post than using a quote from this song
"Don't let 'em say you ain’t beautiful
They can all get [screwed], just stay true to you" @BurstAndHisAllStarBand
