Once, there was a rock. The rock was small, and fairly round, and slightly mossy, and generally all the things one expects a rock to be.
The rock, however unassuming, had a quite dated history going back to Ancient Rome, when Julius Caesar accidentally tripped on it and ordered its execution. However, he was assassinated soon after, and so the rock survived.
Much later, the rock was accidentally shipped from Rome all the way to America, on Christopher Columbus’s fateful journey to what he thought was Asia.
The rock was unloaded with the cargo, at which point Christopher Columbus accidentally tripped on it and ordered its execution.
However, no one actually paid attention.
The rock sat for a long time until one day, George Washington was out horseback riding when the horse accidentally tripped on the rock and George ordered the rock’s execution.
However, he had to take this to the Supreme Court since he did not have the legal power to actually order the execution of a rock. The Supreme Court found the rock innocent and stood it back where George had found it.
Years later, the rock was used in the White House’s construction, where it watched history unfold before its rocky eyes.
Until one day, when it fell out of the White House, and “Weird Al” Yankovic accidentally tripped on it and ordered its execution.
He then sat around for quite some time wondering why he had ordered the rock’s execution.
He ultimately decided to take the rock home and legally adopt it.
The rock was renamed “Weird Al” Rockovic and remained with Weird Al for the rest of its life.
THE END
(I created this off of a writing prompt where I was told to write in great detail about a rock. It took a life of its own.)
