Follies at the Coven Day Parade/Transcript

— This is a transcribed copy of Follies at the Coven Day Parade. —

Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "Yesterday's Lie"

Next: "Elsewhere and Elsewhen"

Speaker	Dialogue
[Scene opens with Luz recording herself using her phone.]
Luz	¡Hola, Mamá! I know you don't want me staying in the Demon Realm, but I'm recording this because I think we can find a middle ground. This is a world of magic and beauty. [Points outside.] Just look!
[Outside the Owl House, a skinless, skeletal Hooty is hanging up his skin to dry. The camera zooms in on his face. Hooty growls at the camera, while Luz screams and stops recording. Cut to Luz recording herself outside in Bonesborough.]
Luz	Well you should know, I'm even learning magic! [Activates a light glyph.] And as a human, it impresses pretty much everyone.
[Boscha walks up from behind Luz and bumps into her. She accidentally stares into the light ball, which blows up. She screams and covers her eyes.]
Boscha	[Enraged.] Human! If you ever do that again, I will set your eyes on fire!
[Boscha forms a fire spell, causing Luz to cry out and stumble backwards. Cut to Luz recording herself inside Hexside. She notices her hair is on fire and swiftly puts it out.]
Luz	[Chuckles nervously.] Sure, the Demon Realm can be a little... [Winces.] But, there's no safer place than Hexside School of Magic and Demonics, right, Principal Bump?
Principal Bump	[Petting Frewin's tail.] Hmm? [Clears throat.] Why yes. The well-being of our students is our top priority. Which is why we send all out troublemakers to our new and improved detention pit.
[Camera pans to the entrance to the detention pit. A Hexside guard is dragging a student into the pit.]
Bird student	Aah! Please, no!
[The door opens up, and the guard then throws the student inside.]
Bird student	Help me...
[The door slams shut. The guard growls while Bump gives a thumbs up.]
Luz	...That's enough of that. [She covers the lens with her hand.]
-THEME SONG-
[Outside the school building, Luz, Gus and Willow are sitting on the staircase.]
Gus	You know, I think he does it cause he's shy. He's just evil and shy. It happens.
Willow	I heard there's just a mirror underneath. [Whispers.] The real emperor was society all along.
Gus	Maybe he's so handsome people have a hard time focusing on what he says. I get it. I can relate.
[He looks to Luz, who's playing back her video on her phone, forlorn.]
Gus	Luz! [Luz gets startled and hides her phone behind her back.] You've seen Belos up close. What's he like under... [Gestures to face.] all that?
Luz	Oh. I never got a good look.
[Amity suddenly appears out of nowhere beside Luz.]
Amity	I heard he's scarred from wild magic.
[Luz cries out in surprise and falls to the side.]
Luz	[Sighs.] Amity!
Amity	Hola, batata. [Helps Luz up.]
Luz	Did you just call me a sweet potato?
Amity	Yes! Is that not a term of endearment? I'm still figuring out this human language book from Gus.
[Amity shows Luz a cookbook titled Mamá Pura's Recipes. Gus gives Amity two thumbs up and nods. Both girls blush.]
Luz	Aw! Amity, you're the sweet potato!
[Luz leans on Amity's shoulder, making her whole face turn red.]
Amity	Uh, so... Did that Titan Blood ever come in handy?
Willow	Did you finish building the door?
Gus	Did you visit your mom? [Teasingly.] Does she know about high-fives too?
Luz	Oh, uh...
[Scene cuts to flashback from "Yesterday's Lie", the moment when Luz is being pulled backwards and Camila tries to hold on to her.]
Camila	[Tearily.] Promise me. When you come home, you'll stay with me, and you'll never go back to that place.
Luz	[Tearily.] Mom, it's not you. It never was!
Camila	Please!
Luz	[Dejected.] Okay, Mom. I promise.
[Scene cuts back to current day.]
Luz	Uh... [Chuckles nervously, sits back up.] Haven't used the door yet. Waiting for a good moment, you know?
[Owlbert hoots. Luz looks up just in time to see Eda and King flying towards her on her staff.]
Luz	Later, taters!
[Luz turns around to kiss Amity on the cheek, making her blush. Luz then rides off with Eda and King.]
Amity	[Happily sighs.] Hmm?
[Amity notices the phone Luz had left behind on the staircase. Luz's video is displayed on the screen.]
[Luz, Eda and King fly towards Bonesborough on her staff.]
King	Come on, Luz. There's no way your mom will make you leave the Demon Realm!
Eda	Yeah! When she meets us, I'll make sure to put on the charm... that turns people into obedient zombies.
[The trio land at the market place in Bonesborough, and Luz notices a lot of Coven Scouts around.]
Luz	Woah, what's going on?
King	They're probably prepping for the annual Coven Day Parade. Floats, streamers, fireworks–
Eda	[Angrily.] Ah, it's just a fancy way to kiss the Emperor's...
[Eda almost blurts out a bad word. She looks at Luz, who squints at her judgingly while covering King's ears.]
Eda	...Whatever. I'm just here to pick something up.
[Eda walks off, with King following. Luz stops, spotting Kikimora, who is speaking into a crow phone.]
Kikimora	Mother, please! No, I'm not seeing anyone. Yes, I'm standing up straight. Listen, I can't come home. If I don't lead this parade, Belos will end my– No! No, of course I miss everybody. I... What? I can't choose! Hello? Mother? Mother?
[Luz runs off to join Eda and King. They are in front of a stand called Private Inspectergator.]
King	Hey, Luz! I know what'll cheer you up.
Luz	Aw, no bread puns today, buddy.
King	What? No. I'm talkin' about hot goss, girl!
[He leaps onto the counter as the stand owner hands over a file to Eda.]
King	Hot goss buns. Bread pun. Guess why we're here!
Eda	[Irritated.] King?
King	Eda hired someone to spy on her ex!
Eda	[Gasps, embarrassed.] Did you read my diary?!
King	And they're Head Witch of the Bard Coven!
Eda	[Covers her ears.] Stop it! Stop it, stop it!
King	And they also–
Eda	Yes! They secretly led a rebel group against the Emperor and got captured! I was there!
King	Ooh. [Sucks teeth.] I didn't read that far.
[Luz gasps, becoming starry eyed, before collapsing to the ground.]
Eda	Well, good job. You broke Luz.
King	It was the... yeast I could do. [Laughs.]
[The scene cuts forward. Luz is reading from the file handed to Eda.]
Luz	And then Raine battled their fellow coven heads? And sacrificed everything to save Eda? [Crying.] It's just like Hecate and Azura in book 5!
[Eda grabs the folder back from Luz.]
Eda	According to this, Raine is still working with the Emperor's Coven which doesn't make sense. They were seen as a traitor!
Luz	Maybe you can ask them about it. Look!
[Luz points to a Coven Day Parade billboard, which has an image of Raine on it.]
Eda	If they're here for the parade, they'll probably be surrounded by scouts. Oh, we'd need someone on the inside to lend us a hand.
Luz	Hmm.
[Luz sees Kikimora, who trips over a plank of wood. Some scouts walk over her.]
Luz	[Looking towards Eda.] Hmm?
Eda	[Snorts.] Yeah, right. As if she'd give us the time of day.
[Cut to Kikimora, teary eyed, and being consoled by Luz. Eda and King stand near.]
Kikimora	And– and then she said if I don't make it back for the family reunion, I'd be banished from Palm Stings and the family home! But I've failed too many missions, and if I leave my job now, I'll be banished from my life! [Sobs.]
Luz	There you go. It's gona be okay. Maybe there's a way we can help each other out–
[Eda grabs Luz's hood and hoists her up from the ground.]
Luz	Whoa!
Eda	Are you out of your mind? Kikimora nearly turned me to stone. She attacked you back in Latissa, and she didn't blink when your girlfriend was thrown down a pit! Oh, she is bad, and not the hot kinda bad.
Luz	But this could be your way to talk to Raine! Isn't it worth the risk?
Eda	Maybe. But what're you getting out of this?
[Luz looks toward Kikimora.]
Kikimora	On the one hand, I miss my family. On the other, Belos is not a forgiving man. But I'm just a party planner at this point...
[Luz looks back to Eda.]
Luz	I'm... just a sucker for romantic reunions?
Eda	This is true... Ugh, fine!
Kikimora	Fine? What's fine? What are you cretins planning?
Luz	Worry not, Kikimora. We're gonna help you... by kidnapping you and Raine!
All (except Luz)	What?!
[Cut to later, in another part of the market. Eda pulls a sheet out from a trash can. She sniffs it, groans, but takes it anyway. Cut to Luz purchasing several potions from Morton.]
Luz	Thanks, Morton!
[Hooty regurgitates several coins, and the skeleton of a small animal, into Morton's hand.]
Hooty	Keep the change!
[Luz walks past King and Edric.]
Edric	I call it the "Ed Ricochet 11." [Edric pulls a large firework rocket out from his coat.] That's how many times I was sent to the Healing Coven.
King	Ooh! Wait, are these legal?
Edric	Would that make you more or less interested in buying them?
King	Hmm.
[Cut to King, chuckling with an arm's load of fireworks. He walks though the forest until he reaches Luz, Eda, and Hooty, who are working to construct a parade float.]
Luz	Nice work, everyone.
[King sets the fireworks down.]
King	Nyeh.
Luz	Let's go over the plan one more time. King and Hooty will pilot the float during the parade. Once it gets to the halfway point, you two will set off all the glyphs, potions, and fireworks to distract people.
King	With my love of mayhem and Hooty's desperate need for attention, this'll be a cake walk!
Luz	When Kikimora sends off the guards to investigate, that's when Eda and I will obscure the stage and whisk her and Raine away. [Luz's tone becomes slightly frantic.] The Coven can't banish Kiki if she's missing! She'll get the best of both worlds! She'll set an example for us all!
[Eda, King, and Hooty all stare at Luz.]
Luz	[Nervously chuckles.] Um, I mean– Eda gets to talk to Raine. It's romantic!
Eda	[Blushing.] Oh, it's not that romantic.
Hooty	Witch, this is peak of Mount Romance.
King	Hooty, what would you know?
Hooty	I've been around!
[Luz riffles through her pockets.]
Luz	Huh. Must've left my phone at the Owl House.
[Cut to Willow, who is working out on the balcony of her room. She goes to answer a knock at her door, finding Amity there.]
Willow	Amity!
Amity	Uh, hey, Willow. It's, uh, been a while since I came here on my own.
Willow	Yeah. I guess it has... Are you okay?
[Amity barges into the room, startling Willow.]
Amity	So, Luz has been acting super weird, and I think she's lying about her trip to the Human Realm, and she left her phoon, uh, phun? Ugh, her thingy at school, and–
[Amity drops onto Willow's bed and screams into the sheets in frustration.]
Willow	You need to slow down for me.
Amity	Luz says she hasn't been to the Human Realm, but I just get the feeling that she's lying. And I can find out the truth by watching this! But I'm not gonna invade her privacy like that. Would you?
Willow	Mmm... [Shrugging.] Mm-mmm.
Amity	[Giggles.] Willow.
Willow	Listen, Blight, if you want my advice, there's something you have to do for me first... Do you still know how to braid hair? [Sits down expectantly.]
Amity	[Chuckles.] Okay. But I am a little rusty.
[Amity lets Willow's hair down, and begins braiding it.]
Amity	I'm glad we can be like this again.
[Willow says nothing and smiles wanly. Cut to Kikimora at the parade preparations.]
Kikimora	[Sighs.] This isn't going to work. I can't believe I let them talk me into this.
Raine	Who talked you into what?
[The camera zooms out to reveal Raine, standing right next to Kikimora.]
Kikimora	R-Raine? H-How long have you been there? [Stammers.] Shouldn't you be practicing your, um parade wave?
Raine	[Groans.] You know I hate these things. Talking to people. Waving to people. People.
[They both shudder.]
Raine	But I'm just happy to do my part.
Kikimora	You seem so much more calm than before.
[Terra Snapdragon, Head Witch of the Plant Coven, suddenly appears in front of Kikimora and Raine.]
Terra	Oh, why wouldn't they be? They were sick for a while, but thanks to me, they're good as new!
Kikimora	T-Terra! And what brings you out of your greenhouse, Head Witch?
Raine	Terra's been helping me recover. I can't remember anything with these... [Winces.] ...headaches.
Terra	Here, sprout. Drink your tea.
[Terra drops a flower into the tea in Raine's drinking horn, turning the liquid pink. Raine blows into the tea with a whistling sound, then takes a sip.]
Terra	There you go. Now, you're gonna get on top of that float and wave to thousands of chumps all night. Remember to lead with your elbow.
Raine	I'm on it.
[Raine and Terra walk off together.]
Kikimora	Terra could ruin everything!
[Kikimora starts dialing on her crow phone, but is interrupted by Terra.]
Terra	You're not trying to leave, are you? Come. The parade is about to begin.
[Cut to sundown. The parade has now started. Eda and Luz overlook the parade from a rooftop.]
Luz	It's almost time.
Eda	Is that our float?
[The camera cuts to the float: a larger than life effigy of Emperor Belos.]
Luz	Not bad, right?
[King and Hooty operate the float from inside. They cause the effigy to wink and make finger guns. The crowd cheers in response.]
Bystander	[Teary-eyed.] It's a work of art!
Luz	That was the signal!
Eda	Let's move.
Luz	Okay.
[Eda leaps down from the roof. Luz tries to follow, but struggles to get down.]
Luz	[Yelps.] Uh... I can't get down.
[Cut to Kikimora, checking the time on her watch. Cut again to King and Hooty, likewise counting down the seconds.]
King and Hooty	Four! Three! Two–
[Hooty and King pull a lever, launching fireworks from the float.]
Raine	[Gasps.]
[The fireworks explode into the words "BELOS, more like BOO-LOS!" The crowd gasps.]
Raine	[Groans.]
Coven Scout	[To Kikimora.] Should we, uh, do something about that?
Kikimora	Yes, of course, you hangnails! I command all of you to invesgtigate!
[The scouts run off. Eda and Luz set off smoke glyphs, engulfing Kikimora and Raine's float. Luz runs up to Kikimora and picks her up.]
Luz	And scoop!
Kikimora	Ooh! I cannot believe we are being taken against our will. What sayeth you, fiend?
Luz	Uh! That's right! I, Hecate, will whisk you away to my kingdom of mirrors and snakes!
[Amity, who is in the parade crowd, is able to recognize Luz's voice. She facepalms while letting out an exasperated sigh.]
Luz	[Hushed.] Hey, come on. I didn't know I had to prepare lines.
[Eda uses a plant glyph to tie up and gag Raine in vines. She slings Raine over her shoulder.]
Eda	Knock it off, you two. Let’s get crackin'. [Eda disappears with an invisibility glyph.]
Luz	Right. [Luz likewise disappears.]
King	Mission success, Hooty! Now, how do we get outta here?
Hooty	We're gonna have to be sneaky.
[Hooty uses his elongated body to lift the effigy of Belos.]
Hooty	Hi! It's me! Your good buddy Belos! Worship me!
Coven Scout	Kill that monstrosity!
Hooty	[Laughs.] Not the first time I've heard that!
[Under Hooty's control, the effigy begins hopping away. Several scouts give chase.]
Hooty	Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoot! Ha!
Coven Scout	Get him!
[Eda and Raine reappear in an alley just as the scouts pass. Eda undoes the vines tying Raine.]
Eda	[Hugs Raine.] Raine, I'm so glad you're okay!
Raine	Eda? What're you doing here?
Eda	I had to make sure you were okay after that fight with Darius and Eber.
Raine	What fight?
Eda	It was just a few weeks ago. I was with you.
Raine	Eda, I spent the last month sick in bed. And we... we haven't spoken in years.
Eda	[Gasps.]
Raine	Listen, I don't know what you want with me. But I'm Head of a Coven now. And I can't associate with wild witches anymore. So move aside.
Eda	No. I'm not leaving till I get through to you.
Raine	Fine. We can do this the hard way.
[They both make ready to fight. Cut to Luz running down an alley with Kikimora. Hooty can be heard laughing in the distance.]
Luz	Oh, my gosh, it's working! It's actually working!
Kikimora	We're visible? We need to disappear again! If we're caught, she will end us!
Luz	Who will end us?
[The ground cracks, with a giant plant carrying Terra emerging from them. Luz and Kikimora hide behind a cart.]
Kikimora	Head Witch of the Plant Coven, Terra Snapdragon.
[Cut to the effigy of Belos, still being chased.]
Hooty	Law is meaningless! Stealing is legal now! I am your god!
[Cut back to Luz and Kikimora.]
Terra	Oh, my word. Where could Kiki have gone? Such a valued member of the coven must be found post haste! [A fly buzzes past Terra.] Have you seen her, little fly? [Terra crushes the fly.] Guess not.
[Luz and Kikimora use an invisibility glyph to disappear.]
Terra	What a shame that Kikimora would disappear... and right before her promotion.
Kikimora	[Yelps.]
Terra	All the missions she would have led, the shiny new badge, the respect. Ah, well. Guess we'll have to find someone else!
[Terra shoots a spiked vine towards Luz and Kikimora's position. At the last moment, the vine stops, held back by an abomination. Luz and Kikimora reappear and run off.]
Terra	Hmm. Another pest...
[Terra destroys the abomination. Cut to Luz running with Kikimora. Amity runs up to meet them.]
Luz	[Gasps.] Sweet potato? How did you know–
Amity	Book 5, chapter 8, Azura pretends to kidnap Hecate–
Luz	During the ice festival to save her from the wizard clan! You remembered my favorite part.
Amity	Yes, but right now I just want to keep my girlfriend from being sent to the Conformatorium... again.
[Amity uses her magic to form an abomination skateboard. The three hop on it.]
Luz	Ooh.
[Cut back to Eda and Raine, who begin fighting.]
Eda	Please. Rainestorm, stop it. Ah!
[Eda ducks below a magical blast from Raine.]
Raine	I don't want to hurt you, Eda. But you're not giving me much of a choice.
Eda	Come on, Raine! I know when you're going easy on me.
Raine	I– [Groans.]
[They continue fighting, with Raine summoning a thundercloud that shoots lightning bolts. Eda charges towards Raine while dodging the bolts, then places an invisibility glyph on herself and disappears. Raine, surprised, looks around for Eda, then charges their bow and brings it forward. Eda reappears and blocks Raine's bow with her staff.]
Eda	Did you forget this too?
[Eda pulls out a cassette player, playing a recording of them performing "Raine's Rhapsody" together.]
Raine	[Grunts in frustration.] Why won't you just leave me alone?!
[Raine sends out a blast which knocks Eda to the ground.]
Eda	[Grunts.]
Raine	For old time's sake, I'll give you one last chance. Move... please.
[Eda shakes her head no.]
Raine	So be it.
Coven Scout 1	I think I heard something over here!
Coven Scout 2	Head Witch! Are you there?
Coven Scout 1	Surround the area!
[Eda searches for another invisibility glyph, but can't find one on her. Raine grabs one from the ground and hesitantly hands it to Eda.]
Raine	Go home. Maybe travel for a bit. Just don't contact me again. I work for the Emperor, after all.
Coven Scout 1	Head Witch!
[Eda, crestfallen, uses the glyph to disappear.]
Coven Scout 1	Head Witch! Are you hurt?
Raine	[Wipes away a tear.] No, not badly. Let's return to the parade.
[Cut to a dock at the edge of Bonesborough, which Kikimora's hand dragon, Princess, lays at the end of. Luz, Amity, and Kikimora make their way across the dock.]
Luz	Okay, Kikimora. Princess here will get you back to your family in Palm Stings by morning. She's a good girl, and I'm sorry to say goodbye, but Bump couldn't keep her at his place anymore. [Luz sets Kikimora onto Princess.] Isn't it great? You'll see everyone at the reunion, and when you return, you can brag about your daring escape! You're walking proof that you don't have to choose between worlds!
Kikimora	[Sighs.] You've been such a help to me, human. You really are a kind person... and an utter fool! [Laughs.]
Luz	Wha?
Kikimora	Palm Stings can burn for all I care! You heard Terra. They want to promote me! Me!
Amity	She could have been lying.
Kikimora	That's a risk I'm willing to take. Maybe as a thank you I could give Belos a few gifts. A troublemaking human and– Ah. [To Amity.] You're the little firestarter from Eclipse Lake.
[Princess lunges to attack. Amity forms a fire spell while Luz sets down an ice glyph.]
Luz	Amity! Now!
[The fire and ice spells combine to form a smoke screen, allowing Luz and Amity to run further down the dock. Amity forms an abomination spiked gauntlet, which Luz imbues with an ice glyph.]
Luz	You got 'em.
[Amity fires the spiked gauntlet at Princess, causing ice to form around Kikimora and her dragon.]
Kikimora	[Gasps.]
[Luz and Amity keep running. But Kikimora and Princess, thawed by the Boiling Sea, block their path.]
Kikimora	Yes. Thank you Luz, for all the help.
Luz	You're welcome! I mean... Ah, dang it!
[Vines suddenly emerge from the water, tying Princess down to the ground.]
Luz and Amity	[Gasps.]
Kikimora	What is this?
[The vines tie down Kikimora as well. Terra emerges from the Boiling Sea.]
Terra	Oh, Kiki, try not to get ahead of yourself. The Emperor has a great many plans, but causing a riot by hurting a couple of children is not one of them.
Kikimora	Terra! Shouldn't you be babysitting the bard?
Terra	I wasn't sent here to watch over Raine. I was sent here to watch over you.
[Terra causes the vines to recede from Kikimora, freeing her.]
Terra	The promotion is real. You just had to prove your dedication.
Kikimora	Did I pass?
Terra	Unfortunately, yes.
Kikimora	[Squeals.] So? What’s the promotion? Who's under my command? What do I get?
Terra	You get... to live.
[Kikimora goes wide-eyed in shock. Terra looks up and sees the fireworks still going off, groaning.]
Terra	Come, Kiki, time to head back.
[The vines re-wrap around Kikimora, dragging her and Princess away.]
Terra	[To Luz.] The Emperor says he's looking forward to meeting you, human. Until then, happy Coven Day.
[Luz and Amity both let out a sigh. Luz hugs Amity in relief.]
Luz	Amity, Amity! Amity, you saved me. How can I make it up to you?
Amity	Maybe... you can tell me about this.
[Amity pulls out Luz's phone, with the video still displayed on the screen.]
Luz	[Gasps.]
Amity	Don't worry. I haven't watched it. But... you did finish the portal door. You did see your mom. ...And... it looks like it didn't go well.
Luz	I'm sorry.
Amity	I know this situation is crazy, and I'm okay taking things one day at a time. But, I can't help if I don't know what's going on.
Luz	You just looked so hopeful. You were even learning Spanish. And I thought if I helped out Kikimora, maybe there'd be hope for me.
Amity	Tell me what happened.
Luz	Okay. So, I had finished the door. But it didn't look like the normal portal. I must have missed something. We opened it and...
[Luz continues talking as she and Amity walk back toward the parade.]
[Cut back to the parade. Coven scouts hose down the now flaming effigy of Belos as King and Hooty escape into the crowd, giggling to each other. Kikimora, Raine, and Terra stand on a podium in front of a crowd. Eda, Luz, Amity, King, and Hooty watch from a rooftop.]
Kikimora	[To the crowd.] Um, thank you, Bonesborough, for joining us during this year's Coven Day Parade. This year is extra special because the Emperor himself has an announcement to make.
[A massive projection of Emperor Belos appears behind the podium.]
Belos	Thank you, everyone. Together we are perfecting the Coven System as the Titan intended. The Day of Unity will be in exactly one month, when the tide is at its lowest and the moon obscures the sun. At that time, we will journey to the head of the Isles, and there, the worthy shall inherit a utopia free of wild magic.
[The crowd gasps.]
King	Free of wild magic? How's he supposed to do that?
Belos	There is one more thing I'd like to share with you. I've always hidden my face, out of fear. But because of your support, I can finally take off this mask.
Eda	[Spits.] So phony. He's just trying to distract us from his crazy utopia talk! Too bad it won't work.
[Belos removes his mask. The crowd gasps again.]
Belos	Thank you, Boiling Isles.
[The crowd cheers.]
Bystander	We love you, Grandpa!
[Cut to Willow and Gus, watching the parade on Willow's scroll. They gasp, but quickly become unimpressed.]
Willow and Gus	Eh.
Belos	Happy Coven Day, everyone!
[The projection of Belos explodes into fireworks. The crowd begins chanting Belos' name.]
Amity	Is... Belos planning something? And why did he say he's going to meet you again? Didn't you already meet him? What else don't I know? What's gonna happen?
Luz	I– I'm not sure. But for now... we'll take things one day at a time.
[The chanting of Belos' name continues.]