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Season 1[]
“
A terrible development at Glandus High School. Students and teachers were found unconscious and without magic. The cause remains unknown.
”
—Perry Porter, "The First Day"
“
Perry Porter coming to you live from outside the Emperor's Castle. Edalyn Clawthorne, known commonly as "Eda the Owl Lady," has been captured and has been brought before the Emperor.
”
—Perry Porter, "Young Blood, Old Souls"
“
Today is a grave day for Bonesborough.
”
—Perry Porter, "Young Blood, Old Souls"
“
And in a shocking turn of events, head Coven leader Lilith is now in the holding cage. Escorted by what appears to be a deranged cat.
”
—Perry Porter, "Young Blood, Old Souls"
Season 2[]
“
This is Perry Porter with breaking news. In light of recent events, Augustus Porter will be grounded for no less than a year.
”
—Perry Porter on the phone, "Escaping Expulsion"
“
Welcome, everyone, to the Gland Prix! Contestants will fly down the right arm to the cubital valley. They use speed, cunning, and magic, to race to the checkpoint and back to the finish line! Winners get their names etched on the Cup of Ephemeral Glory!
”
—Perry Porter, "Eda's Requiem"
“
Luz of Hexside and Ukula of Glandus are barreling towards the finish line! And there you have it! Luz over Ukula! For fifth place. And now, let's give a hearty applause to our actual winners!
”
—Perry Porter, "Eda's Requiem"