Separate Tides/Transcript

— This is a transcribed copy of Separate Tides. —

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Previous: "Young Blood, Old Souls"

Next: "Escaping Expulsion"

Speaker	Dialogue
[Open on Luz holding a ball of light in one hand and carrying the Owl Staff in the other through a cave. She stops when she sees a large shadow on the wall in front of her. Offscreen there is a deep laugh. Luz gasps.]
Garlog	Foolish child. Leave this place before you meet your demise.
Luz	Do not underestimate me, Garlog. For I am the good witch, Luz, hunter of monsters. [Perches the staff on her shoulder like a bazooka.] Now eat this sucka—what?
[Garlog turns out to be a tiny creature casting a shadow standing in front of a lantern. Luz picks him up and he lets out a squeak trying to escape.]
Luz	You're Garlog? [Pulls out his wanted poster, depicting him as being much larger and worth 4,000 snails, compares it to the real thing.] This is pathetic.
Garlog	Small I may be, but you will soon know fear when I lay waste to all that you—
[He gets cut off by King, who eats him whole.]
Luz	King, drop it now. Drop it now!
[King mumbles and runs off.]
Luz	[Chases after him.] Drop it! No! I'm not gonna play right now! King!
-THEME SONG-
[The Owl House is shown, wind howling. Cut to Luz's room, where Garlog is stuffed in a bottle while Luz sets her phone against it.]
Luz	[Boops Garlog's nose.] Boop! [Turns on camera to say hello to her mother.] Hola, Mama! You haven't heard from me in a while. It's been a week and a half since the petrification ceremony. A week and a half since I destroyed the portal home. I had to. Emperor Belos was going to kill Eda if I didn't hand it over. But I couldn't let him use it, so I blew it up with some magic fire... [To herself.] She's not gonna understand any of this. That's okay, Luz. Just keep moving forward. [To Camila.] This world is filled with inexplicable magical wonders, like this portal key! [Pulls out the item in question.] I don't know if it contains magic, but I'm gonna study all I can, and find a way back to you. A-And look! [Lifts up her leg to show King holding onto it.] I have friends to help me.
King	I'm never letting you go! You're never returning to the human realm!
Luz	He doesn't mean that. [Covers the camera.]
King	Yes, I do!
[Cut to Eda in the kitchen, where she is trying to cast magic by pouring a cup of apple blood.]
Luz	[Narrating.] This is Eda the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles. [Eda's magic fails; the bottle explodes, covering Eda in apple blood.] Or at least she was until her curse overpowered her and weakened her magic. She's doing her best now.
[Scene switches to Lilith, who is wearing a new outfit and putting her old one away.]
Luz	[Narrating.] Eda was cursed by her own sister, Lilith. And she spent her entire life looking for a way to undo it. It's still hard for everyone to trust each other, but maybe with time we can all become friends.
[Lilith stares out of the open window pensively, a small smile appearing on her face as Luz narrates. She jumps when Hooty appears in the window.]
Hooty	Hello!
[Lilith screams in surprise and slams the window in Hooty's face. Cut to outside the Owl House. Eda is seen constructing something.]
Luz	[Narrating.] Even though Eda gets frustrated, she's found new ways to make up for her lost powers.
Eda	Check it, Luz! A new hunting weapon. I will call her the Stab-Catcher.
Luz	[Narrating.] Without the portal, Eda has no human garbage to sell. So, we've resorted to working odd jobs to keep food on the table.
Eda	Hey, King, did you know that apple is a hat? [Aims Stab-Catcher.]
King	Really? [Puts an apple on his head, not knowing he's standing in front of a target.]
Luz	King! Hey, no! King! [Drops camera, rushes to get King out of harm's way. The Stab-Catcher, with Eda's detached hands still holding on, hits a bullseye.] This week we're bounty hunters. Next week we could be anything. [Cut to a shot of Luz back in her room.] So, Mom, please don't be scared. I'm growing more and more every day, and I'm gonna do my best to become a full-fledged witch, and get home to you safe and sound. Te quiero, Mama. Te lo prometo, regresaré a casa pronto.
Eda	[Offscreen.] Luz! [Luz looks out the window. Cut to a shot of Eda and Lilith waiting outside.] Time to bring these bad boys to market!
Lilith	[She pats feathers off herself; grunts.] Eda, do you own anything that isn't covered in feathers?
Eda	I had to deal with a curse for 30 years, so I think you can handle a few feathers.
[Switch to Bonesborough, where a statue of Emperor Belos has been placed and Emperor's Coven guards are everywhere.]
Luz	Wow, the Emperor is really taking over.
Eda	I see it too, Luz. And I'm trying to stay civil. [Kicks a demon decked out in Emperor's Coven apparel.]
[Eda places the bag of captured demons on a scale. She and Luz wait while a shopkeeper behind a booth reading BOUNTY reads the scale.]
Shopkeeper	Tsk. Your payment.
Eda	A single snail? Are you kidding me?
Shopkeeper	[Laughs.] Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't done yet. [Snaps snail in half.]
Eda	You can't do this to me. Do you know who I am?
Shopkeeper	Yeah, you're Eda the Owl Lady. What are you gonna do? We all know you're powerless now.
Eda	[Growls, tries to cast a spell but the spell circle disintegrates.] Ah! What the—
Townspeople	Ah, this is awkward; Uh-oh.
Eda	I don't need your pity. [Holds up her own wanted poster.] I was the most wanted criminal for years. You should fear me.
[A passing garbageman grabs her wanted poster and puts it in the trash cart he is pushing.]
Townspeople	No magic? Not so wanted anymore.
Lilith	[Laughs.] Don't worry, sister. At least my image still commands respect and fear.
[She poses in front of a Coven recruitment poster in which she is making the same pose. The poster is promptly torched by a garbageman holding a flamethrower.]
King	[Laughs.] You're a traitor.
Lilith	What's going on? This is anarchy. Who told you to do this?
[Three new Coven recruitment posters of the Golden Guard fly onto the wall. Luz grabs one.]
Luz	The Golden Guard? Did you know him in the Coven, Lilith?
Lilith	Unfortunately, I did. [Grabs the poster from Luz.] He always got special treatment because he was the genius teen prodigy. But he's really just a brat. If he's in charge... vomit.
[Lilith crumples up the poster and throws it to a trashcan. It hovers right before entering, and then flies back and adheres itself to Lilith's face. She tries to rip it off, but gives up and stalks off.]
Luz	[Side-hugs Eda.] Hey, I know! What we need is a confidence boost. Why don't we take on the biggest bounty we can find? It'll be great! [Runs up to a bulletin board labeled "Greg's List" and reads the posters there.] Hmm. Lost Cerberus, no. Witch cackling lessons? [Chuckles.] Uh, but maybe not today. Aha! [Takes poster down and shows it off.] There's something called a "Selkidomus" ravaging boats up and down the coast. We'll be on a high-seas adventure.
Eda	Hmm... no. We gotta keep a low profile while my powers are weakened. And we need fast cash. [Gasps.] How about this guy? [Gestures to a poster.]
Luz	"The Abominable Cutie Pie"?
Eda	No, no, no. I hear it's very dangerous. [Gasps.] And look, there he is.
[She points to where the little demon is standing between two Hexside students, a lollipop in his hand.]
Abominable Cutie Pie	[Giggles; runs off and climbs the statue of Emperor Belos.] You'll never catch me!
[Luz climbs the statue.]
Abominable Cutie Pie	[Deadpan.] You did it. You caught me. [Falls into Luz's hands.]
[Luz groans. King climbs up to Luz.]
Eda	[Sighs.] Things aren't looking great, Lily. This bounty hunting stuff isn't putting food on the table.
[Lilith speaks, but is unintelligible under the poster.]
Eda	Oh, I'm sure Luz could handle bigger bounties, but if we wanna eat we don't have the luxury to mess up even once.
[Lilith responds unintelligibly under the poster.]
Eda	No apple blood. I spent the money on griffin eggs for Luz. There's not a lot she can digest here, so I make sure to have her favorites around.
[The sisters head off.]
Abominable Cutie Pie	That's rough, buddy. [Screams as King shoves him to the ground.]
[Luz lands on top of the Abominable Cutie Pie after jumping to the ground.]
Luz	This is awful. Eda wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for me. Maybe it would be better if I never came here. I can't change the past, but I can still change the future. I'm gonna help Eda and prove that I'm more than just a burden.
[Cut to the Bonesborough Dock, where she slams the Selkidomus's wanted poster onto a barrel.]
Luz	The Selkidomus hunt. I want in.
[Ship horn blowing.]
Salty	You think you can handle this, squirt?
Luz	I can handle anything.
[Salty lets Luz in and nods at the Golden Guard, who closes the window of his quarters bearing the Emperor's sigil. Cut back to the Owl House, where Lilith holds her now burned recruitment poster. Eda sneaks up on her, wearing a bandolier of orange potions.]
Eda	Hey, Lily! How do I look? [Shows off bandolier.]
Lilith	Uh...
Eda	[Flops onto the couch.] Getting scammed at the market was such a bummer, but it gave me an idea on how to earn a little more cash. You wanna come? I may not be at full power, but I can still make potions! [Dangles a potion over Lilith's head.]
Lilith	I am quite fine. Thank you. [Pushes Eda away.]
Eda	Aight. [Walks to the door.] Have fun wallowing in self-pity and feeling bad for cursing me. Bye-eeee! [Leaves.]
Lilith	[Rips poster bits out of her hair and sighs.] I guess I deserve this. There's gotta be a way to make it up to her. [Sees a potions book and grabs it.] Edalyn isn't the only Clawthorne with a talent for potions. [Chuckles as opens to a page for a scrying potion.] Ooh. I bet she would love a peek inside the castle.
[Lilith rips the page out and starts backing away, straight into Hooty.]
Hooty	New roomie check-in!
[Lilith screams, falls and drops the book and page.]
Hooty	How's my bestie doing? [Notices page on his face.] A scrying potion!? [Gasps.] Lulu, you're trying to spy on your old buddies? I can help! We can find out their crushes. [Rubs his face against Lilith's.] We can give them cute couple names!
Lilith	[Shoves Hooty away.] No! [Stands.] I can do this alone. Don't follow me! [Starts to leave, stops in the doorway.] And don't call me Lulu! [Leaves.]
Hooty	[To himself.] A good friend would respect her wishes, but a better friend would help no matter what! [Goes after Lilith, closing the door as he goes.]
[Cut to Salty's ship sailing through the Boiling Sea.]
Luz	When we defeat the Selkidomus and get a boatload of snails, Eda won't have to worry about money for a long time.
King	King want a cracker!
Salty	All hands!
[Luz joins the rest of the crew, lined up in front of Salty.]
Salty	Alright, crew. The Selkidomus has been ravaging the coastline. It was last seen in the Simmering Shoals. You know the drill, "Snag the quarry, [Drops large sack of snails onto the deck.] get the money galore-y." We all do the work, we all get a cut.
[All cheering.]
Fish sailor	I have many debts!
Salty	Till then, keep everything shipshape. This ain't no pleasure cruise. [Throws a broom to Luz.] Don't be a burden, sea squirt.
Luz	Oh, you don't have to worry about me.
[Cut to barnacles on the front of the ship, then reveal Salty offer Luz a scraper. She gives King, on her shoulder, a look and uses a plant glyph to lower herself down. The barnacles grunt at her. Luz hisses, causing them to quiet down. Luz uses King's horn to scrape them off the ship. Cut to the bellows of the ship, which Salty is shoveling coal in to. He offers the shovel to Luz, but she shakes her head and pushes it away. She activates three fire glyphs directly into the bellows and closes the door. The ship's horn blows as the ship speeds ahead. Salty nods. Cut to the main deck, where the crew is clapping in time with Luz dancing. She turns around to reveal a large bug on her back. She launches it over King—holding a cracker—and various birds into the sea. Salty approaches her.]
Salty	Well, ye had me confront my own biases and I got nothing but respect for ya now, squirt. I mean, sailor.
Luz	Thanks, Salty. You make me feel like a real part of the crew.
Salty	Well, that's because you arghhhh.
[All cheering.]
King	Boo!
[He waves his cracker in displeasure. One of the birds tries to grab it from him.]
King	Hey, that's mine, you feather duster!
[King and the bird both tug at the cracker. The ship hits a large wave, which sends King tumbling into the captain's quarters. The doors close behind him.]
King	Oof. Hey, King want a cracker! [Tries to open the doors, gasps, sees box of crackers on the desk.] Ooh!
[King scrambles up the desk and grabs some crackers from the box. He notices a letter below the box.]
King	Huh? [Picks up letter.] Is that the Emperor's sigil?
[King turns up the brightness on the lamp next to him. The brighter light reveals that the room is covered in the Emperor's sigil.]
King	This ship belongs to the Emperor?! Oh, boy. I gotta tell Luz.
Golden Guard	Unfortunately, you won't have the chance.
[King screams. Cut to the middle of the woods, where Lilith is consulting the scrying potion recipe.]
Lilith	Okay, next is fire bee honey.
[Two fire bees fly past her, into a whole colony. Lilith tries to follow, but the moment her foot enters their territory, they swarm together and fly at her. She screams, and draws a very shaky spell circle, which produces an average sized, sweating ice cube which offers no defense against the swarm. She runs behind a tree, in which several fire bees plunge their stingers.]
Lilith	[Slides to the ground.] How can I get fire bee honey without ice magic, or porcuspine quills without a sleeping spell? Who am I without magic, without a Coven? [Buries her head in her knees.]
Hooty	Without friends?
[Lilith looks up, and Hooty is poking out of the ground next to her. She points at him accusingly.]
Lilith	I said—
Hooty	[Stretches into her space.] You don't know how to get those fire bees, but I can help.
Lilith	No! [Pushes him away.] I don't want your help. I told you not to follow me!
Hooty	If I were you, I would—
Lilith	You would what? [Stands and paces.] Because it doesn't matter. You aren't me. You're just some kind of weird bird-worm!
[Hooty appears hurt by these words.]
Lilith	You have no idea what I'm going through. I have to do this alone, because if I can't... what kind of witch am I?
Hooty	Sorry, Lulu. I mean, sorry, Lilith. [Retreats into the ground.]
Lilith	Now, let's try this one more time. [Grabs a branch and looks at the colony.]
[Cut to Salty's ship, which enters darker waters.]
Salty	We're here. The Simmering Shoals. Eyes peeled, mates.
[A burning ship sails past. Sailors take off their hats and pay respects.]
Salty	She's close.
[The Selkidomus tail thwacks against the side of the ship.]
Luz	She's here!
[Luz corners the Selkidomus with ice pillars, then wraps it in vines. She starts pulling it onto the ship.]
Salty	Help her, boys! Put your backs into it.
[Luz ties the vine onto the ship.]
Luz	I did it!
[Explosion on deck. Luz falls. The Selkidomus breaks free and swims away. Luz sees a silhouette of someone carrying a bag of money.]
Salty	Is that a—a ghost pirate?
Luz	The money! We're being robbed.
[The thief jumps off the ship onto a speedboat and heads to a nearby island. Luz summons a boat-shaped block of ice, jumps on, then propels herself with a fire spell after them.]
Salty	[Laughing.] Show that specter what for, Luz.
[Luz closes in on the shore. The ice has melted to barely support her feet. She loses her balance and is sent flying, colliding into the thief who drops the money at the shore. It opens and it gets washed away. Closeup of Luz and the thief's face.]
Luz and thief
[The thief's eyes are gold and gray. Luz walks over and knocks off her hat, revealing it's Eda.]
Luz	Eda!
Eda	[Sheepishly chuckling.] Hey.
Luz	Why are you robbing our ship? And what happened to your legs?
Eda	[Her legs reattach.] It's called "disguising your tracks". [Stands.] Now, why were you on that ship to begin with? You coulda' gotten killed!
Golden Guard	That can still be arranged.
[A giant water fist rises from the sea. The Golden Guard lands holding a birdcage with steam pouring from his mask.]
Golden Guard	Hello, criminals. What's about to happen should be relatively painless, if you just do what I say.
Luz	And why would we do that?
Golden Guard	Because none of you can use real magic.
Eda	You don't know that!
Golden Guard	Maybe not, but I do know that you're standing on a plant that eats flesh.
[Luz and Eda look down, notice the plant is steaming, and quickly jumps off it, freaking out.]
Golden Guard	[Laughs.] Okay, the human will remain a sailor to repay all the money she lost, while the Owl Lady will be arrested, again, for attacking one of the Emperor's ships.
Luz	"Emperor's ship"?
Eda	They're the only ones worth robbing. [To the Golden Guard.] Why are you guys hunting the Selkidomus? It's a peaceful creature, and you're provoking it!
Golden Guard	The Emperor ordered me to slay one. I'm just following orders.
Eda	Well, I'm just gonna smack you around a bit! [Rips off her arm to use as a weapon, swings but misses and is blasted away.]
Luz	[Appears from behind him, attempts to use a fire glyph.] Leave Eda alone!
Golden Guard	How about... [Powers his staff.] I leave you dangling above the Boiling Sea?!
[He manipulates the land to move them directly above the steaming waters. Cut to a close up of the steam.]
Golden Guard	Around these parts, just the steam is enough to cause third-degree burns.
[He brings them back to land.]
Golden Guard	But I don't have to be that mean. No one will have to be a sailor or get arrested, if one of you follows those Selkidomus tracks and slays the beast. Here! I'll help!
[He materializes a sword. Luz whines.]
Golden Guard	Ugh, you're making this difficult... Go, or I drown the bird.
[The Golden Guard lifts up the birdcage and pulls the shade aside, revealing King.]
King	Weh?
[The Golden Guard drops the shade.]
King	Ah, it's dark now. [Snoring.]
Luz	Fine. I'll do it.
Eda	Luz, wait! Luz!
[Cut to Lilith, encircled by a ring of fire bees.]
Lilith	I am not one to be trifled with, bees. I am a witch... unhinged!
[She swings at the bees with a stick, making battle cries. Lilith pulls it out and realizes it's burnt.]
Lilith	What? No, no, no, no, no!
[She falls to the ground, ring of bees closing in.]
Lilith	I can't do this alone. I need help!
[Hooty emerges out of the ground.]
Hooty	I'm here for you, Lulu. No witch is an island. Now face my wrath!
Lilith	[Clapping.] Ooh!
[Cut to Luz and Eda.]
Eda	Luz, don't hurt the Selkidomus. We can find another way out of this.
Luz	You heard what he said, Eda. If you and King want to be free... then I have to do this alone.
Eda	What's this "alone" business? Don't you remember? Us weirdos have to—
Luz	What? Stick together? Because you stuck with me, you lost your magic. You almost got turned to stone, and now you can't even afford your apple blood because you're worried about what I need to eat. (This last part makes Eda instantly realize Luz overheard what she said to Lilith earlier) It's my fault all this happened. That's why I've got to do this alone. I'll make it all up to you, Eda the Owl Lady. I promise.
[Luz falls backwards, down into the Selkidomus' den.]
Eda	Luz!
[Luz falls straight onto the Selkidomus' head. She stirs and roars.]
Luz	Whoa!
[She dodges a Selkidomus attack, and holds up a glyph.]
Luz	All right, let's do this.
[Luz summons an ice pillar, but Eda swings on a vine and grabs Luz mid-air, tackling her into cover.]
Eda	You think throwing your life away is gonna help me? Well, it won't. You helped me find King's crown when you barely knew me. You saved me from turning to stone and you even got me talking to my sister again. So, unfortunately for you, my life is pretty great, because I'm friends with Luz the human.
[Luz's lip trembles and she starts tearing up, but stops when Eda grabs her cheeks.]
Eda	Now, your guilt-ridden brain is clouding your judgment. There's gotta be a way out of this, where no one has to get hurt.
[Behind them, a baby Selkidomus sounds.]
Luz	[Gasps.] Eda, do you want to learn your first glyph?
[Above them, the Golden Guard is playing with King's birdcage. He lifts the shade. King wakes up and spins around.]
King	Weh?
[He drops the shade. King sighs in relief. The Golden Guard lifts the shade. King wakes up and spins around.]
King	Weh?
[He drops the shade. King sighs in relief. The Golden Guard lifts the shade. King wakes up and spins around.]
King	Weh?
[He drops the shade. King sighs in relief.]
Golden Guard	[Laughing.] You're actually weirdly endearing.
King	No, I'm not. [Snoring.]
[The Golden Guard looks up and sees shadows on the wall of Eda and Luz fighting the Selkidomus. Luz slays her, and begins dragging her head into the Golden Guard's view.]
Golden Guard	Oh, that thing smells awful. Why are you touching it with your hands? Gross.
Luz	You're gross. Now give me King.
Golden Guard	Actually, he smells pretty bad too. Take him.
[He tosses her King's birdcage.]
Golden Guard	Thank you for your service. You can find your own way home. And try to stay out of trouble. [Looking sinister.] The Emperor is not a merciful man. [Waves.] Bye-eeee!
[The Golden Guard gets on his staff and vanishes. Luz blows a raspberry after he leaves. Beside the Selkidomus corpse, actually made entirely out of plant magic, Eda is drawing light glyphs and casting them. Luz walks up to her.]
Eda	My first glyph. Did I do good?
Luz	Yeah. You did great.
[Enter the Selkidomus and her baby. The baby comes up to Luz and hugs her.]
Luz	Baby! Awww.
King	Wait, what is that?
Eda	Don't worry, King. Once the mother saw we weren't a threat to her baby, she calmed down. [To the Selkidomus.] This area is dangerous. You need to move further out into the sea.
[The Selkidomus nods, then regurgitates a pile of golden selkigris.]
Eda	Hot dang! It gave you the treasure of the sea.
Luz	Gold? Tuna?
Eda	It's selkigris. Ah, people pay big money for it at the Night Market. Ah, feel that money, Luz. [Lathers a handful of Selkigris on Luz's face.]
Luz	No, Eda! Stop!
Eda	Luxuriate in it. What, you don't like to luxuriate? There's a whole pile of luxury right in here.
Luz	No, no, no, no, no.
[Eda throws Luz into the Selkigris.]
Eda	Move over!
[Eda jumps in, flattening the pile.]
Luz	Eda!
[They all laugh. Cut to Lilith at the Owl House, putting ointment on Hooty's fire bee stings.]
Lilith	I'm sorry for sending you away before. It's hard for me to ask for help.
Hooty	It's okay. I'm sorry for being all nosy-nosy. But hey, Lulu, every friendship comes with its ups and downs. Right, best friend?
Lilith	I'm not commenting on that... Hootsifer.
Hooty	A nickname? [Laughing.] Hoot.
[The cauldron with Lilith's scrying spell finishes brewing. It glows and bubbles.]
Lilith	[Gasps.] The scrying potion, it's ready.
[A tired Eda, Luz, and King walk through the door.]
Eda	We're home. [Trips over Hooty.]
Lilith	Eda, come here. I have a gift for you. To prove that I'm trustworthy, I'm giving you a peek inside the Emperor's Castle.
[Cauldron shows a corridor at the Emperor's Castle that splits into two paths. Four distracted guards at each side are doing nothing. A guard on the left turns to the guard on the right.]
Guard #1	'Sup?
Guard #2	'Sup?
Luz	What are we supposed to do with this?
Lilith	Whatever you want. Don't you see? These troops don't know what to do with themselves. So, go crazy. Pull whatever pranks your heart desires. They're clueless without me.
Eda	Oh, Lily, you couldn't have been more right. And that Golden Guard... what a chump. Oh, I'm in a good mood. Who wants to get takeout and draw faces on Hooty?
Hooty	[Shakes head.] No...
King and Luz	[Simultaneously.] Yay! Me, me, me! I do! Yeah! I'm in!
Lilith	I'll protect you, Hootsifer.
[Zoom into the cauldron. The Owl House is still having their conversation about take-out offscreen.]
Eda	Alright, what do we wanna eat?
Luz	Anything but seafood.
King	Crackers.
Eda	We're not ordering crackers.
Hooty	Bees!
Lilith	I'm fine with whatever. Things are starting to feel right again.
[The potion zooms in through a wall, to where Belos is piecing together the portal door. He puts his mask on as he turns around.]
Belos	Knock, knock, human.