Something Ventured, Someone Framed/Transcript

— This is a transcribed copy of Something Ventured, Someone Framed. —

Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

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Next: "Escape of the Palisman"

Speaker	Dialogue
[Open on a Hexside classroom, in which is the Human Appreciation Society. Various human items, incorrectly labelled, are on a desk. Among them are a cheese grater labeled "nail clippers", a bag of chips closed with a flip phone labelled "whoopie cushion", an upside down umbrella hat filled with leaves labelled "food bowl", a Rubik's Cube labelled "weapon?", and a paper clip labelled "pay-per-clorp".]
Gus	Behold. The wonders of the human realm. [Picks up the paper clip.] This little fella's one of their most valued objects. It aids in the compiling of printed wisdom, the scratching of gunk from under your nails, and my favorite... It even mimics the sounds of the human ocean.
[He proceeds to twang it.]
Gus	Aah! The human realm. So beautiful. [Walks over to the chalkboard.] It's safe to say that the pay-per-clorp is a stunning testament to human ingenuity. Any questions?
[He turns around to face the rest of the club. Eileen, Bo, and the unicorn Bard track student are all falling asleep, and Mattholomule looks thoroughly bored. He raises his hand.]
Gus	Ah! Our newest member: Mattholomule.
Mattholomule	A-Augustus, is this what the president of the Human Appreciation Society thinks passes as "Human Artifacts"?
[Gus looks confused.]
Mattholomule	Because at my old school, [Pushes aside Gus' stuff.] we had real treasures.
[Mattholomule empties his bag onto the desk, dumping out a rock painted to look like a cell phone, an egg with a skull painted on it, and a shoe made out of mud, leaves, and twigs. They're labelled "cellular phone", "human skull", and "sports footwear" respectively. The other members of the club gasp and lean closer to them.]
Bo	So real.
Boy	Wow!
Bo	I—I wanna touch them.
Mattholomule	Go ahead. In my club, we didn't have any dumb rules.
Gus	[Gasps and turns to his list of rules.] Shh. He didn't mean that.
[Gus glares at everyone touching Mattholomule's objects, then takes them away.]
Boy	Hey!
Bo	What?
[Eileen grunts.]
Gus	Well, this isn't your club. Thankfully.
Mattholomule	Exactly, who thinks I should be president?
Eileen	I do!
Bo	Mattholomule for prez.
Boy	I'm an undecided voter. I wanna touch all the objects first.
[Eileen and Bo talk over each other as Gus picks up the "phone".]
Gus	These are fakes.
Bo	[Gasps.] What?
Mattholomule	[Stammers.] You can't prove that! [Inhales.] You're just trying to distract these human appreciators. You're afraid of getting kicked out of office. It's your word versus mine.
[Eileen mumbles.]
Bo	I don't know what to believe in anymore.
Boy	My faith in Gus has been broken.
[Gus walks backwards into the chalkboard. He looks at a newspaper clip with a picture of Luz on it.]
Gus	What if I brought in an expert?
Mattholomule	Yeah, right. Who can you find that's a bigger human expert than any of us?
Gus	How about a real human?
[Eileen mumbles.]
Bo	Why the secrets?
Boy	Show don't tell, man.
Mattholomule	Yeah. Uh-huh. A-And you've never brought your friend here. Why?
Gus	Well, she's busy. She's got a job. But I'll bring her in tomorrow. She'll prove I'm right.
Mattholomule	[Scoffs.] Ah, sure you will, Augustus. Sure you will.
[Gus grows visibly nervous.]
-THEME SONG-
[Cut to the Owl House living room, where Luz and Eda are rummaging through boxes. King is laying on the couch and Gus is standing in front of Luz.]
Luz	Gus, I'd love to go to school with you, but I don't know how I can. [Points to her banned poster.] Principal Bump banned me from Hexside.
Eda	But nothing. Bump did you a favor. There ain't nothing for you at that dweebus factory. [To Gus.] No offense, dweebus.
Gus	It's okay. I come from a long line of dweebuses.
[Luz slams the box she's holding down, making it clatter. She stands and looks at Eda.]
Luz	Well, I would love to go some day. Better than unpacking boxes in the Eda Coven.
Eda	Oh, you think you're clever, huh? [Stands.]
King	Ooh! Fight, fight, fight!
Eda	Can it, King! First off, it's the "Bad Girl Coven" and second off, I guess you don't want in on the T-shirt order, huh?
[She pulls out a piece of paper with a t-shirt drawn on it as rock music plays.]
Luz	I don't care about T-shirts, Eda! I want to learn magic, [Gestures to Gus.] and they teach that at Hexside!
Eda	I mean, yeah, well— [Grunts, leaves.] I don't wanna hear another word about Hexside, unless it's "Hexside is on fire" and "let's grab front row seats"!
[Door slams.]
King	Aw, look what you did. I'm gonna go rub it in. Nyeh! [Laughs, leaves.]
[Door opens and slams again. Luz sighs and sits on the couch.]
Gus	L-Luz, a-about the ban, I, uh, used my H. A. S. presidential authority to pull some strings. You've been given a full pardon!
Luz	You mean...
Gus	I got the ban lifted!
Luz	Oh my gosh. [Shakes Gus.] Yes, yes, yes!
[Gus grunts.]
Luz	Of course I'll be there tomorrow! Gus, this will be great! [Jumps on the couch.] I get to see the school and save the president.
Gus	Great! I'll see you tomorrow!
[Gus leaves.]
Gus	Yes! You did it, Gus! [Dances.] ♪ You did it, Gus ♪ ♪ You're the smartest You're the best ♪
Hooty	Sweet moves, little dude.
Gus	[Yelps.] I always forget you're there.
Hooty	I forget I'm here too. Boop.
Gus	[Stares at Hooty.] This is gonna work out after all.
[Cut to Willow and Gus standing outside of Hexside the next day.]
Willow	This isn't gonna work out at all.
Gus	Well, I feel like I took care of any potential problems.
Willow	You lied to our best friend and told her you got the ban lifted. That seems like a potential problem to me.
Gus	You don't understand. The members were going mad. They were bloodthirsty. They were touching objects. I had no choice!
Willow	Really? What about all the wanted posters around school?
Gus	[Pulls the wanted posters out of his bag.] What wanted posters? I also got this. [Pulls out a cowl.] To keep her undercover.
Luz	Undercover from what?
[Gus slams the cowl backwards over her head as she squeaks.]
Gus	Behold your new cowl.
Luz	Whoa. I love it.
[Gus turns the cowl around and pulls the hood down.]
Luz	[Sniffs.] On the Boiling Isles, new things smell old.
Gus	Yep. Put it on. Hide your ears. [Chuckles.] Wanna keep you under wraps 'till the big reveal.
[Willow frowns.]
Luz	Oh, a showman. I totally get it. You bring the razzle, [Pulls the hood back up.] I'll bring the dazzle.
[Luz throws handfuls of confetti. Willow and Gus stare at her.]
Willow	Do you always have confetti on you or...
[Gus' watch demon screams and bites his arm. He pokes it in the eye to make it stop.]
Gus	That's my alarm. Uh, we better get going. [Drags Luz away.] See you after school, Willow.
Luz	Bye, friend. Be safe. Make good choices.
Willow	Oh, Gus. I hope you know what you're doing.
[Cut to the Owl House, where Eda is moping outside.]
Eda	I'm trying to protect her. Hexside chews up anything unique and spits out bland mush. [Rips apart a flower.]
[Insects buzzing.]
Hooty	I chew insects. I turn them into mush.
Eda	But that's my beef. Does she need to draw her own conclusions?
Hooty	My beef is insects. They're what I eat.
Eda	You're just gonna be unhelpful, huh?
Hooty	All I know is, you taught me and I turned out just fine.
[He sticks out his tongue in an attempt to get the fly walking next to his head, making a gagging sound. Eda watches in concern.]
Eda	I gotta get that girl into school.
[Cut to the hallways of Hexside. A Beast Keeping witch's backpack flies off of him.]
Student #1	Whoa! [Grunting.] Hey! Give that back!
[Another Beast Keeping witch and a bird demon laugh, floating the backpack between them.]
Student #2	Huh? Whoa! [Straining.]
[He's dragged away by a hook to the school guards.]
School Guard	[Sniffing.] Trouble.
[The first student's backpack falls to the ground as the third backs away nervously. He is also caught by a hook.]
Student #3	Huh? [Grunts.] No! Detention!
Student #2	[Being dragged away.] The only thing I'm guilty of is being too real!
Luz	That's new.
Gus	Well, they kinda showed up after your last visit. They smell trouble. Literally.
School Guard	Trouble.
Gus	[Chuckles.] Okay, time to run for no particular reason.
[Gus runs into Mattholomule. All of Luz's wanted posters and his president crown fall out of his bag. Gus gasps, then grunts as he collects the posters.]
Mattholomule	Augustus, you should really watch where you going. Don't want the president of the H. A. S. getting hurt on his last day in office. [Picks up and dusts off the crown; looks at Luz.] This must be your human. Hmm. Looks like another witchling to me.
Gus	Psst. Psst! [Pulls his ears.] Dazzle.
Luz	Oh. [Trumpets, pulls the hood down.] Ta-da!
Mattholomule	[Gasps.] A human!
Gus	Not just any human. An expert human.
Luz	Yeah. I've been doing this for years.
Gus	She's here to authenticate your treasures. [Takes his crown back, walks past Mattholomule.] See you at the meeting.
Mattholomule	Oh, no, no, no, no! [Sinks to the floor.] They can't know I lied. Then they'll never make me president. Huh? [Picks up one of the wanted posters Gus didn't; laughs.] Ooh, Gus, I have you now.
[Cut to outside of Hexside, where Eda is staring up at the building as wind howls.]
Eda	Ugh. I had this nightmare before.
[She walks inside. Cut to a hallway.]
Gus	As president of the H. A. S., I should feel bad about dunking on one of our own members. But as a Gus I feel like doing this: [Dances.] ♪ Oh, oh, yeah ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah, what, oh ♪
[Luz walks over to a trophy case.]
Luz	Wow! Who got the trophy for the most bones?
[School Guard sniffs. Gus runs in and drags Luz away.]
Luz	Whoa!
Gus	We don't have time for this right now. We gotta get to the clubroom.
Luz	Okay. But next time you have to give me a full tour.
Gus	Yeah, next time. [Laughs.]
[They stop when they see the abomination professor.]
Luz	Ooh. It's the abomination professor. I should introduce myself. Apologize for the incident. Hey, Mr. Abomination Professor. The "abominominator." Remember me? [Roars.]
[He raises an eyebrow at her.]
Gus	Oh, wouldn't you know? We suddenly have time for a full tour of Hexside.
[Gus pushes Luz away. Cut to Principal Bump's office, where Eda takes a pencil out of a mug.]
Eda	Been quite a while since I've sat here, huh?
[She puts the pencil on her top lip and reclines in the chair, crossing her feet next to Principal Bump's name plate. He stares at her shoes.]
Eda	I gotta admit it's extra weird without you yelling at me for picking fights or stealing.
Principal Bump	I can easily change that. [Magically shoves Eda over.]
Eda	[Grunts.] Ow!
Principal Bump	[Moves his name plate back.] What are you doing here, Edalyn?
Eda	[Sits up; inhales as she fixes her hair.] I want to—Prft! I want to enroll my human, Luz, at Hexside. And before you get all judgy—
Principal Bump	That's not a bad idea.
Eda	You no-good—Wait, really?
Principal Bump	[Walks over to a file cabinet.] I think the student body could learn a lot from having such an exchange student.
[Eda grins.]
Principal Bump	But before I even consider that, there's a lot to be answered for.
[Eda reclines on the desk again. Principal Bump magically turns her upside down without looking. He pulls a stack of files out of the cabinet.]
Eda	Oh right. Yeah. [Rights herself.] I heard all about that abomination incident.
Principal Bump	Oh, I'm not talking about Luz. I'm talking about the necrotic experiments, the graffiti, the scams, the cheating, Miss Jenkinmeyer's teeth.
[Eda sinks down in the chair.]
Principal Bump	The trouble you caused when you were here, Eda.
[He drops the pile of paper and books onto the desk. Eda looks at the page on top, which reads, "PERMANENT RECORD --~-- EDALYN CLAWTHORNE".]
Eda	Huh. I thought there'd be more.
[Cut to the grudgby pitch, which has basketball hoops on either side. Skara is on the pitch while Gus and Luz are in the stands.]
Gus	This is where we play the sport.
[Skara runs at the ball, but is picked up by a griffin. She screams, the griffin screeches.]
Skara	I hate this game! [Screams.]
[The griffin drops her into one of the basketball hoops. A horn blares. Gus and Luz applaud. A School Guard sniffs. Gus sees the guard and drags Luz away. Cut to the two of them walking past a door, Luz doubling back to look through the window.]
Luz	Ooh. What's in here?
Gus	The Plant Homeroom.
[Various students in Plant uniforms are tending to the greenery. A carnivorous plant eats Amelia, who had been standing next to it with a clipboard. Willow runs over and tickles the plant's stem. It laughs and spits Amelia back up. She gives Willow a thumbs-up.]
Luz	Willow, hey.
[Willow turns around and waves at Luz. Gus looks through the window.]
Gus	Hi.
[Willow's face falls. She shakes her head.]
Gus	Bye.
[Gus drags Luz away again. Cut to a room full of mirrors.]
Gus	And this is where I spend my time. The Illusion Track Homeroom.
[The professor evaluates three students' illusions. Emira doubles the length of her legs. Edric changes his face, outfit, and hair style. The third student is shaking as they draw their spell circle and accidentally remove The professor draws a spell circle and their face returns. The student inhales deeply.]
Luz	Wait, if you're here, who is that?
[She points across the hall, where another Gus is sitting in a class.]
Gus	That's one of my illusions. Takes notes for me when I'm not around.
[His illusion gasps and holds up a paper reading "I'm not paying attention." He laughs as he points to it.]
Gus	He doesn't always do what he's told.
Luz	Wow, Gus. You're good.
Gus	Yeah. I moved up a couple grades.
[Gus' watch screams again.]
Gus	Oh! Time for the H. A. S. meeting.
[Luz and Gus run off. Gus' illusion watches them, growing nervous when Gus returns. He mimes decapitation and casually walks away. The illusion starts paying attention to class. Cut to the H. A. S. room.]
All	[Banging on the table.] Human, human! Human, human!
Gus	Human Appreciation Society... [Twangs the paper clip.] ...it is my distinct pleasure to introduce to you...
[Luz moonwalks into the doorway, spinning around and almost falling.]
Luz	Oh! [Recovers, takes the hood off.]
Gus	Luz, the human.
[Eileen squeals.]
Bo	Such showmanship.
Boy	She's horrifying.
[Luz and Gus approach the desk. Mattholomule grows nervous.]
Gus	Luz, will you inspect the items?
Luz	Of course, Mr. President. Allow me to determine if they're truly of my realm's origin. [Reaches for the "shoe".]
Mattholomule	Stop!
[He knocks his fakes off the table with a grunt. Everyone else gasps.]
Mattholomule	Don't make another move, human! [Jumps onto the table; calms down.] I... have something to say. I'm new here at Hexside. M-Making friends has been hard, so I lied. They're all fakes.
[Bo gasps.]
Mattholomule	I thought if I was important enough people would like me. But I've caused enough drama.
[Luz and Gus share a look.]
Mattholomule	So, I'll go. I'm sorry.
Luz	Hey, man. It's okay. You're only human. Well, you know what I mean.
Gus	Mattholomule, you aren't alone. You have a place here in the H. A. S.
Boy	You're not alone.
Bo	We admire your honesty.
Boy	You're one of us.
Mattholomule	Thanks, guys. I knew you'd understand.
[Cut to a hallway.]
Eda	[Grunts.] I don't wanna do this!
Principal Bump	There's the whiny rebel teen I remember. You'll need this [Hands her a mop.] to clean up all the hexed graffiti you left us. Good luck. [Leaves.]
Eda	[Sticks her tongue out at him.] Meh!
[Eda puts the mop in the bucket and attempts to wipe away graffiti on lockers that reads "EDA RULES BUMP EATS STINK." The graffiti avoids the mop. She tries again, it moves again. She tries slower, it moves slower. She tries to wipe the entire row of lockers, only succeeding in making all the graffiti combine and now read, "MOTHER NOOOO!!!" She slams at that, and it moves again. Eda groans. Cut to the H. A. S. room as half of them leave, waving to Luz, who waves back.]
Bo	Thanks for coming.
Boy	Come back soon.
Eileen	[Muffled.] Thank you. [Unintelligible muttering.]
Mattholomule	Hey, Augustus, Luz, thank you for being so forgiving.
Luz	We've all been the new kid before. Right, Gus?
Gus	Yeah.
Mattholomule	Well, I just have one thing to say...
[Door bangs open, school guards step in.]
Mattholomule	[Points at Luz.] There she is! [Pulls out Luz's wanted poster.] She's the intruder!
School Guard	[Sniffing.] Trouble.
Luz	No, it's fine. The ban's been lifted. Tell 'em, Gus. [Screams as she's dragged away.] Gus! Tell them!
Mattholomule	Oh, who's the liar now, Augustus?
[Cut to the Plant Homeroom, where Willow is watering the carnivorous plant.]
Willow	Maybe I've been too hard on Gus. I mean, what trouble could they get into?
Luz	Help!
Carnivorous Plant	Huh?
[The plant and Willow turn to the door. Through the window, they can see Luz being dragged off.]
Luz	[Screams.] I don't even learn here!
Willow	Luz!
[Cut to the hallway.]
Luz	Where are you taking me?
School Guard	Detention.
Luz	Oh. That won't be so bad, right?
[They stop in front of a giant door with three closed eyes. The eyes open, red and yellow, and the bottom of the door lifts up to reveal a mouth filled with sharp teeth. Luz screams. Cut to the H. A. S. room, where Gus is shaking with anger.]
Mattholomule	I can't believe you two fell for that. Like I'd actually apologize.
Gus	What. Did you. Do?
Mattholomule	[Mockingly.] Ah, bo-hoo. I'm sorry. "I am the new kid." "I want friends." [Normal.] Ha! No. I want power. And I want drama. And I got one of those right now. So, what are you gonna do, Mr. President?
Gus	[Prepares to punch him.] Executive action. [Grabs the bell's tongue.]
Bell	Ow! [Screams, rings.]
[Water is launched from the bell and soaks Gus and Mattholomule. Cut to the two of them being dragged away by a school guard.]
Mattholomule	But I didn't pull the alarm! It was Augustus! Are you even listening to me? I demand justice!
[Willow peeks around a corner as they pass. Cut to the door to detention growling and opening its mouth again as Gus and Mattholomule are thrown inside, they grunt.]
Mattholomule	Wait!
[Door growls and closes.]
Mattholomule	[Bangs on the door.] Get me outta here! Open up!
Gus	Luz!
Luz	[Hiding behind a rock.] Gus! You said the ban was lifted!
Gus	Well, I—
[He tries to stand, but the ground cracks open at his feet. The crack widens until nearly the whole room is a hole, revealing teeth, eyes, and blue tendrils and pods, inside of which are students. Luz screams. Cut to the cafeteria as Bo sees the doors open and a cloud of fog rolls in. Eda enters, ghosts falling onto the floor behind her. She dumps a writing bag at Principal Bump's feet.]
Eda	[Strains.] There. The girls' changing room is ghost-free.
Principal Bump	Are you ready to give up? [Takes a ghost out of Eda's hair.] You've barely scratched the surface.
[Eda growls. She turns and sees Bo helping Skara with a spell.]
Bo	No, like this.
[Bo summons a ball of fire, which turns into a snowball that splats onto the table.]
Skara	[Gasps.] Oh. [Does the same.] Wow.
[They hug.]
Skara	Friendship is the real magic!
Eda	They're just as bad as Luz. She'd love it here. [Turns back to Principal Bump.] All right. What's next, Bumpikins?
[Principal Bump grins and holds up a plunger. Eda groans. Cut to detention.]
Luz	How is this detention?! This is a death sentence!
Gus	I don't know! I've never been in detention before!
Mattholomule	Welcome to my world. Believe it or not, at my old school I was in detention plenty of times.
Luz	That isn't hard to believe. You're kind of a jerk.
Mattholomule	Well, down in detention, this jerk is king. So, if you wanna get out, you better do exactly what I say. [Walks forward.] But first, before anything else, we gotta— [Yelps.]
[A snake rises out of the hole. It wraps a blue tendril around Mattholomule's ankle.]
Mattholomule	[Grunts.] Already? [Screams as he's dragged down.]
Luz	Mattholomule! [To Gus.] You lied to me. You lied about the ban! Why?
Gus	I was afraid. I acted stupid.
Luz	Yes, you did!
Gus	Being younger than everyone is hard. [Makes his way over to Luz.] You're overlooked. Ignored. But at the H. A. S. I mattered. I could make sure no one would ever get left behind. I didn't wanna lose that. I'm sorry.
Luz	[Puts a hand on his shoulder.] I get it. I just wish you told me the truth.
[Gus smiles at her. Snakes hiss, several of them slithering up the hole.]
Gus	Let me make it up to you, Luz. I've got a plan.
[A snake hisses as it rises out of the hole.]
Luz	[Yelps.] Ya! [Kicks it.] I'm in. Where do we start?
Gus	[Grabs her hand.] By leaving no one behind. [Grunts and jumps in the hole.]
[Luz screams. They land on an eye and bounce, both grunting when they hit the ground. They stand and pull down the pod Mattholomule's in.]
Voice	You will be a good student.
Mattholomule	I will be a good student.
Luz	[Tries to bite the pod.] You know, it didn't taste as bad as I thought it would. Oh, you're a witch. Do magic.
Gus	Oh, I'll use magic. [Pulls out the paper clip and bends it.] Human magic. [Grunts.]
[He cuts the pod and pulls it to the ground, freeing Mattholomule.]
Mattholomule	Am I a good student?
Luz	[Strains, tosses Mattholomule over her shoulder.] Oh, gosh. He's so little.
[Several snakes hiss as they surround the three of them.]
Luz	This is part of the plan, right?
Gus	Or the illusion of a plan.
[He draws a spell circle, then puts his hand in it and drags it through the air. Several other spell circles appear, and from them several clones of Luz and Gus. A snake flicks its tongue at one illusion of Gus, making it disappear. It hisses.]
Luz	A genius and a wordsmith.
[Gus picks up a giant bone and the two climb out of the hole. Snakes hiss as the follow. Gus reaches the top first, taking Mattholomule from Luz. Luz kicks a snake in the face when she pulls herself up, then spins and kicks another. Gus hits a third with the bone, then runs.]
Gus	We're gonna have to bust down the door.
Luz	Right behind you. [Picks up Mattholomule and follows him.]
[Three snakes follow them out of the hole, hissing. Luz takes hold of the bone, and they both run for the door. The pair scream, the snakes hiss. Cut to outside of detention, where Willow is sneaking to the door. She strains to lift the crossbar off the door, managing to get it half off before freezing when she hears Eda.]
Eda	I washed off all the graffiti. Apologized to Jenkinmeyer for stealing her teeth. Caught all the wild cerebi. Ah, we should be good.
Principal Bump	[Shakes Eda's hand.] It will be very exciting to have a real human exchange student.
Eda	And you won't tell the Emperor's Coven about this, will you?
Principal Bump	No. Hexside School is safe for you both. I'm the principal, not a stooge. Consider your pupil our pupil.
[Banging interrupts them. Willow backs away from the door as it's hit again from the inside. A third hit shatters the door, and Gus and Luz burst through, panting.]
Luz	Eda?
Eda	Guess who got you into Hexside!
Luz	What?
[Snakes continues hissing, Luz screams. Principal Bump snaps his finger.]
Snake	[Freezes.] Uh, sorry, Principal Bump. Sir. [Retreats.]
Prinicpal Bump	[To Luz.] What did you do?
Eda	[Facepalms.] Ugh, kid.
Principal Bump	[To Eda.] To think that any student of yours would be capable of doing anything but create chaos... Eda, take your student and leave! You are both banned from this campus!
Eda	[Grunts.] Come on, kid. Let's go.
[Eda and Luz start to leave.]
Gus	Wait, Principal Bump. Don't blame Luz. I told her the ban was lifted. We were fighting over the Human Appreciation Society. I brought Luz in because I wanted to win. This is all my fault.
Principal Bump	If that's so, Augustus, would you be willing to accept her punishment as your own?
Gus	Yes, Principal Bump. I would.
Eda	Huh. Dang, dweebus.
Principal Bump	Very well. [To Luz.] In light of that, barring any more trouble, you shall officially be enrolled in Hexside School next semester.
[Luz gasps and smiles.]
Eda	Uh, hold on. Hold on.
[She puts her hands on Luz's shoulders, then glares at Principal Bump and gestures for him to step back. He takes exactly two steps back. Eda kneels down in front of Luz.]
Eda	I'm only doing this because I have faith in you. And I know you're too smart to fall for that One-Witch, One-Coven nonsense. You can learn a lot from the witches here. [Looks over her shoulder and smirks.] And maybe teach them some of that Bad Girl Coven magic too.
Principal Bump	I didn't hear that. [To Gus.] As for you, I would be saying detention right now but that seems to be out of order. So, as of now, I'm removing you from the Human Appreciation Society. [Takes Gus' crown.]
Mattholomule	Does that make me president?
Principal Bump	Impressive. Still alive. Yes, I suppose you are. [Throws the crown on Mattholomule's head.]
Mattholomule	[Weakly.] Yes!
Principal Bump	Now, with that accomplished, Eda, we have some paperwork to fill out.
Eda	Wait! I gotta do more stuff? Ugh! [To Luz.] You better enjoy this place, kid.
[Luz grins and looks at her friends.]
Gus	Wanna finish off that tour?
Willow	I can show you guys what plants not to touch in the greenhouse. And then I can let you touch them.
Luz	Yeah! Let's go.
[The three join hands and laugh as they run off.]
Mattholomule	Hey! Wait. Take me. I'm your president. Oh. Come on.
[Cut to Eda's permanent record. Pages are flipped through as a song plays.]
Song	♪ Why can't you remember ♪ ♪ Why can't you remember me? ♪ ♪ Oh, no, no, no ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Why can't you remember ♪ ♪ Why can't you remember me? ♪ ♪ Oh, no ♪ ♪ Ooh‐oh‐ooh‐oh‐ooh Ooh, yeah ♪
[Eda's permanent record includes letting loose a pack of feral ghosts in the girls' locker room, starting an abomination food fight at lunch, hexing the school bells to play pop songs, letting in "two giant bug-things" that destroyed classrooms, and feeding the school griffin spicy snacks until it threw up over the grudgby field.]
[Cut to the Owl House living room, where Luz and Eda are going through Eda's record.]
Luz	[To Eda.] Wow! Bump was not exaggerating. You were a terrible student.
[Eda gives off a look of surprise, implying she didn't even know Luz was there.]