Witches Before Wizards/Transcript

— This is a transcribed copy of Witches Before Wizards. —

Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.

Previous: "A Lying Witch and a Warden"

Next: "I Was a Teenage Abomination"

Speaker	Dialogue
[Open on the Owl House. Wind howls as it moves Luz's open and creaking window. Luz rolls over and breathes heavily. Flashback to events of the previous episode: Owlbert hopping through the portal door in Eda's tent with a sack in his beak, Luz running through behind him.]
Luz	Stop adorably hopping away, you... Huh?
[Cut to the living room, the first time Luz entered.]
Eda	Welcome to... [Snaps fingers.] ...the Owl House.
[Luz gasps. Cut to Luz's first staff ride, whimsical music playing over the scene. Cut to present. Luz wakes up with a gasp and looks around the room. King is snoring.]
Luz	It wasn't a dream! [Opens the window.] Good morning, terrifying fantasy world.
Monster	[Waving at her.] Good morning. [Sinks into the ocean.]
Luz	Ughhh.
[King continues snoring.]
Luz	[Picks up King, who wakes up.] Good morning, you little cutie-pie. [Kisses his head repeatedly.]
King	I am not your cutie-pie!
Luz	Yes, you are. [Hugs him tightly before putting him back down on her sleeping bag.]
King	[Sighs.] I know.
[Cut to Luz, fully dressed, opening the bathroom door. Several owls fly out of it, hooting. She watches them fly away before entering, walking backwards.]
Hooty	Hi, Luz!
[Luz screams and karate chops Hooty's face.]
Hooty	Ow! I'm just wishing you a good morning. [Retreats to the front door.] Jeez! Hoot! Ow!
Luz	Sorry, Hooty. [Looks at the bathroom counter and picks up her Azura book. Flips it open to a headshot of Azura and holds it up to the mirror.] This is it, old girl. Your first day on the Boiling Isles, as a Witch Apprentice. [Punches the air.] Hyah! [Opens a closet door while covering her eyes.] Please have witchy clothes. Please have witchy clothes. Please have witchy clothes. [Takes her hand off her eyes and sees a closet full of stereotypical witchy stuff.] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! [Screams.]
[Cut to Luz writing "Witch Apprentice Luz" on a name tag and sticking it to her chest. She is now wearing a robe and what looks to be a witch's hat as she stands at the bottom of a staircase. Luz squeals. A toliet flushes. Eda's shadow appears on the wall before she steps into frame.]
Eda	[Yawns.] Hmm?
Luz	Good morning, Eda the Owl Lady. I am ready for my first day of Witch Apprenticeship.
Eda	Ugh! [Shakes spiders out of her hair, picks another one out of her ear.] Who are you, again?
Luz	Huh? [Stares in horror as her name tag falls to the floor.]
-THEME SONG-
Luz	[Following Eda into the kitchen.] Remember me? Luz? [Grunts as a coffee cup hits her in the back of the head.] We freed the oppressed and defeated the evil warden together? Yesterday?
Eda	Kid, lay off the details. I haven't even had my cup of apple blood yet.
Luz	You mean apple juice?
Eda	No.
[Eda sits on the kitchen table and drinks from her mug. King is sitting in a high chair and stabbing a fork into a yellow blob with eyes sitting on a plate.]
Luz	Teach me some spells. When do I get a magic staff? Was I supposed to bring my own runes? [Gasps.] Do you have a dangerous magical quest for me?
Eda	Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, kid. Being a witch doesn't happen overnight. Also, you're wrapped in a bathrobe and wearing the dirtiest traffic cone I've ever seen.
[Luz pulls her hat off and blows on it, revealing that it was, in fact, a traffic cone with a severe layer of dust on it. King laughs.]
Eda	But a magic staff, huh? You really want one?
Luz	More than anything.
Eda	Magic staff, come to me!
[She holds out her hand. For a second, nothing happens. Then several things crash distantly. King, Luz, and Eda all slowly turn to the sound, until Eda's staff appears and smacks her in the face, clattering to the ground.]
Eda	[Grunts and picks the staff up, spinning it before tapping it on the ground.] It's early. Now, witches are awarded their staffs from school. With me as your teacher, you'll be taking a different approach. [Drops a bag of potions onto the floor.] You'll have to work for it. [Leads Luz through the living room.] I run a few businesses. On weekends, I offer rare human treasures that Owlbert drags over from your side of the realm.
[She grabs a toy sword and hits a button near the pommel.]
Sword	I shall smite my enemies! Ages six to eleven.
Eda	[Tosses the sword over Luz's head.] But most days I sell only the finest homemade elixirs and potions.
Luz	[Pulls a bottle from the bag and reads the label.] "Snake oil."
Eda	No one wants an un-oiled snake. Follow me.
[Cut to Eda and Luz walking onto a balcony.]
Eda	Today you'll deliver packages and sell potions to that town over there, Bonesborough. You'll have to be careful. I have rivals everywhere who'd love to take my business down and you along with it. You wanted a dangerous magical quest? Sister, you've got one.
Luz	I won't let you down, Miss Eda.
[Luz turns to salute Eda, dropping the sack of potions off the balcony in the process. The two of them watch it fall, Luz wincing when it crashes loudly on the ground.]
Eda	I'm sure. [Cut to the living room, where Eda is pushing Luz out the door with a new bag of potions.] Remember, never befriend a man in sandals and always measure twice, cut once.
Luz	Uh...
Eda	Good luck! [Slams the door closed and dusts her hands off, then looks at King.] I hate to interrupt your power nap, but you have to go with her.
King	What? But I just found the perfect spot. Why do I have to go?
Eda	You and I know she's either going to get lost or eaten, probably both.
Luz	[Squishes her face against the window.] No, I won't.
Eda	[Closes the blinds with a spell.] And because you work for me, too, unless you want to start paying rent.
[King throws a short tantrum before stomping out the door.]
Eda	Be back by nightfall or risk mortal peril. [Slams the door again.]
Hooty	Have a nice trip.
King	Huh! Let's get this over with.
[Fade to Bonesborough. Luz and King walk through an archway.]
Luz	Woah!
[Zoom out to reveal a wall covered in wanted posters on either side of the archway. Various types of demons pass, all of which Luz stare at in amazement.]
King	Hey, it's rude to stare.
Luz	I've only seen places like this in my dreams. It's incredible. And I'm the only human here?
King	[Shrugs.] Haven't seen any others.
Luz	Wow! There must be a reason for that, right? Why am I here? What if I, Luz Noceda, average teen, actually had... [Gasps.] ...a predetermined path of greatness? [Gasps.] Just like Azura!
King	Yeah. Did Azura's path to greatness involve her delivering boil cream? [Takes a potion labeled "Boil B' Gone" from the sack and holds it up.]
Luz	Today I'm delivering packages, but tomorrow I'll be earning the respect of everyone on the Boiling Isles with my magical prowess.
King	Ha! Good luck. The Boiling Isles is nothing but a cesspool of despair.
Luz	More like a cesspool of delight.
[Luz puts the boil cream back in the sack before hefting it over her shoulder and looking around. She starts in the direction of the market, where she walks up to a centaur holding a pumpkin in front of his chest.]
Luz	What has four hooves and wants to buy a potion? This guy.
Centaur	[Sighs and lowers the pumpkin to reveal his face is on his chest.] My eyes are down here.
[Luz exclaims. Cut to a house, where Luz rings the doorbell. She leaves her hand on the button, and the doorbell bites her hand and slowly starts to eat her arm. King walks away in annoyance. Cut to a curb, where Luz and King are sitting, the latter scarfing down a Not Dog from the cart behind them.]
King	[Sighs.] I know I've had enough delight for one day.
Luz	I thought being the only human in a magical world would make me special. But apparently, it just makes everyone want to scream at me or... [Holds up her arm to reveal a small winged creature biting her elbow.] eat me. [Flings the creature away and sighs, opening her book.] At this point, Azura had already been sent on an enchanted quest. Where's my quest-granting wizard?
King	Sorry to break it to you, Luz, but no one here is that well-dressed.
Luz	This has been a rough day. [Stands and hefts the potions sack over her shoulder with a grunt; takes out a piece of paper and starts down the alley.] Let's just deliver this last package and go home. Maybe this world isn't what I thought it wa— [Gasps.] Pretty!
[Cut to reveal a large castle with golden banners illuminated by sunlight. The doorbell is also made of gold, and towering wooden doors open after Luz presses it.]
King	Big houses always belong to big whackjobs. Let's kick the package inside and get outta here.
Luz	[Walking inside and ignoring King.] Hello?
King	Hey, wait. [Runs after Luz, yelping when the doors slam behind him.] Weh!
Luz	[Entering a room.] I-I'm delivering a package from Miss Eda, the Owl Lady. Huh?
[Lanterns around the room flare on, revealing it to be a massive library. They illuminate a grand staircase, above which is a painting of a wizard. Said wizard enters from a door in the same pose he has in the painting.]
Luz	[Gasps.] Today just got good.
[Ad break. Camera pans up the wizard.]
Luz	[Dancing excitedly.] Magical wizard!
King	Weird old man in jim-jams.
Adegast	[Descending the stairs.] I was in my oscillarium, reading the stars. And who might you be, with eyes full of curiosity?
Luz	Uh, I-I'm—
Adegast	[Running up to the two of them.] Young lady, dareth I say, I sense something unique about you. Please, won't you join me for tea?
[Adegast summons two chairs and a table of snacks. He sits down in the white throne.]
Luz	[Gasps.] Okay.
King	[Grabbing Luz's leg.] Let's scram! [Climbs up to Luz's shoulder.] Wizards are just old people with glitter in their pockets.
[Adegast takes a handful of glitter out of his pocket and drops it on the floor.]
King	I don't trust him.
Luz	But the stars on his robe are sparkling. And look, there's a baby fox in his beard.
[The baby fox giggles.]
Luz	Plus, I see scones on the table.
King	Where?
[King pants as he runs to the table. Luz follows him, dropping the bag of potions in front of the chair as she sits in it.]
Luz	We'd love to join you for tea.
[King munches on the food.]
Luz	[Turns and notices a cart of potions.] Do you sell potions, Sir Wizard?
Adegast	Please, call me Adegast. Ma'am, yes, I run a small business.
King	[Munching, holds up an empty plate.] You should run a small business of more scones into my mouth. [Chuckles.] Yes!
Adegast	I'm surprised to see you here. It was my understanding that Eda delivered the packages herself.
Luz	Well, I'm kinda, sorta, her apprentice.
Adegast	Oh! And how are you finding the experience so far?
Luz	[Holds a fake grin before sighing.] Can I be honest, Mr. Adegast? When I decided to stay in this magical world, I thought I was meant for something special. But Eda thinks I'm meant for chores and I'm afraid I came to the wrong place.
Adegast	[Approaching Luz.] Well, I have a quest—
Luz	A quest?
[Cup shatters.]
Adegast	[Chuckles.] You didn't let me finish. I have a question.
Luz	Oh.
Adegast	Would you like to go on a quest?
Luz	Yes!
Adegast	[Reaches into his beard and pulls out a scroll.] I might have just the thing. [Unrolls the scroll to reveal a map.] The prophecy speaks of a young human girl who will claim the Celestial Staff and free this world from an ancient evil. Perhaps thou hath cometh here for a reason.
Luz	Perhaps I hath. [Takes the map.]
Adegast	Should you believe yourself worthy to attempt this quest... [Begins walking through his house.]
Luz	[Follows him.] So worthy.
Adegast	...you need to know the road is dark and perilous.
Luz	Love peril. Big fan of peril.
Adegast	And only the Chosen One can pull the staff from its post.
Luz	[Stops walking.] Chosen one.
King	[Walking past Luz with the bag of potions.] Neat story, awesome. Anyway, your food is gone and we are, too.
Luz	Yes, we have to go. And pack for this enchanted quest! I'm in.
Adegast	Wonderful.
[Cut to Luz's bedroom, where she's sheathing the toy sword from earlier. Around her are various potions, food, the quest scroll, and of course her Azura book.]
Luz	So, King, what kind of Chosen One should I be?
King	[Kneading Luz's sleeping bag, yawns and lies down.] Huh? What?
Luz	[Picks up her book.] Should I be full of optimism and goodness, like the Good Witch Azura? Or should I be like a bad girl Chosen One with black nail polish and a mysteriously withdrawn attitude? [Uses the book as a mouth.] "I act like I don't care, but I secretly do."
Eda	Oh, you guys talking about bad girls? Wait, what's going on?
King	Eda, tell Luz how dumb wizards are.
Eda	[Gesturing with a severed arm and almost hitting King several times.] Ugh! Wizards are the worst. Never trust a man in casual drapery. [Laces her fingers with the severed arm's.] Why?
King	Your wizard client told Luz... [Laughs.] she was a— [Laughing.] was a Chosen One! [Laughing.]
Eda	Wait, wait, Luz? [Snickers.] [Laughs so hard she falls back onto the floor.]
King	He even gave her a map.
[Eda and King laugh as Luz hides behind her book, an embarrassed blush on her face.]
Eda	Let me see this map.
[Luz hands her the map. She inspects it for a few seconds.]
Eda	You didn't think this was real, did you?
Luz	What?
Eda	This map is bunk. There's no lake with a Celestial Staff on the Boiling Isles. I would have stolen it ages ago. [Notes Luz's down face and hands her the map back.] Ah, don't worry. Couple more months here and you won't look like such a mark.
Luz	Can I have some time alone?
[Eda shrugs and leaves the room. King hops off of Luz's sleeping bag and follows Eda. The door closes, casting the room in shadow.]
Luz	Maybe they were right. [Leans against the wall before sliding down it to the floor.] Huh?
[Sunlight is illuminating one corner of the map, revealing the word "one" in shining blue lettering. Luz holds the entire map up to the light revealing the message: "The chosen one The path will only appear to the worthy".]
Luz	"The path will only appear to the worthy." [Gasps.] That's why Eda couldn't see it. But am... I really worthy?
[Wind howls and opens the window. The map flies out of her grasp, landing next to her book. The wind flips the pages to show Azura standing loved and triumphant on a small hill, the people around her applauding as she holds a staff to the sun.]
Luz	I'll never know unless I try.
[Cut to the living room, where King is laying down on the couch.]
King	Finally! All that mean‐spirited laughter made me sleepy.
Eda	Crony, wake up. You said that wizard was one of my clients?
King	Yes. Now go away.
Eda	I don't know him that well. [Sits on the couch with enough force to send King flying into the air.] And I don't trust this itch he's scratching in the human.
King	Less talky, more nappy.
[Eda sighs. Cut to the door of Luz's room, which Eda pushes open.]
Eda	Hey, Luz? Aw, nuts.
[Her room is empty, the howling wind pushing open the window. Eda runs to the window.]
Eda	Hooty, where'd she go?
Hooty	Hoot, hoot. If you want the answer that you seek, solve my riddle within a week—
[Eda punches the wall hard enough to shake the whole house and leave cracks in the wall.]
Hooty	Ow! Okay, okay. She went into the forest towards Bonesborough. Sheesh!
Eda	Ugh!
[Cut to a sign proclaiming the city limits of Bonesborough, next to which is Luz.]
Luz	[Inhales.] My first mythical quest. Ha!
[She jumps and slides down an incline, then gets over a fallen log. A thick fog rolls in as she keeps walking.]
Luz	Okay. Got my scroll, got my youthful optimism, got my trusty weapon. [Pulls out the sword and hits a button on it.]
Sword	By the power of Skullgar, I am out of battery.
[The lights on the sword dim as Luz lowers it. She continues onward, ducking a branch and cutting a rope with the sword.]
Luz	You know, I wonder if I made the right choice by coming here. [Gasps.] Wow!
[Camera reveals a village full of cats wearing clothes and walking on two legs. Luz walks through the village, beaming as she looks around. She approaches a fountain in the middle of a square, from which a witch with a sword strapped to his waist emerges, flipping wet hair out of his face.]
Nevareth	I see. So you're the Chosen One. [Scoffs.] The Celestial Staff should've picked me, Nevareth Bladestrife, Teen Prince of Angstmore.
Luz	[Staring at his biceps.] Yes. Yes, I did make the right choice.
[Cut to an alley.]
King	[Sniffing.] This is where we met the scones. I mean, the wizard. Whoa!
[Eda pushes aside a patched curtain.]
King	It wasn't like this before.
[The castle is now in complete ruin, with crumbling walls, no spire, and faded banners. One of the front doors is laying on the ground, and as they look, a chunk of wall falls from a pillar.]
Eda	I don't like this.
[A door creaks open, revealing the library. Tattered scrolls now litter the floor, shelves are broken, paintings are ripped, and chunks of debris are blocking the stairs. Eda steps forward, onto a bundle of scrolls. She picks them all up, each illuminated with the glowing message of: "The chosen one".]
Eda	I really don't like this.
[Cut to the middle of the woods, where Luz is walking with Nevareth and a flying onion with bat wings.]
Luz	Nevareth, your vengeful backstory is so compelling. And I'm lovin' your animal sidekick.
Nevareth	After my village was consumed, my heart has known nothing but vengeance.
[They stop walking.]
Luz	Nevareth!
Nevareth	Lady Luz, do you think love can bloom on the battlefield?
Luz	[Turns and laughs to herself.] This quest is questing in all the right ways.
[The three of them walk onto a bridge, yelping when a creature jumps in front of them.]
Nevareth	Ew.
Chris	[Dances.] Hum-di-diddle, to pass the bridge, you must first solve my riddle.
Luz	Hit me, little furry man.
Chris	Your quest shall stop if you fail this game. So tell me, my dear, what is my name?
Luz	Hmm. [Bends down to inspect his nametag.] Uh... Chris?
Chris	That's it. You may cross the bridge. And please take this, Chosen One. It shall help you on your journey. [Hands her a ring.]
Luz	Wow. This is amazing. Thank you. [Puts the ring on.]
Nevareth	Do you need a cape?
Luz	Nah, I think I'm goo—
Nevareth	You can use my shirt.
[Nevareth rips his shirt off and ties it like a cape over Luz's shoulders.]
Luz	Yes. I need a cape. [Giggles.]
Nevareth	Three cheers for the Chosen One. Hip, hip...
Everyone	Hurray!
Nevareth	Hip, hip...
Everyone	Hurray!
[Luz blushes from the praise.]
Nevareth	Hip, hip...
[Cut to Eda.]
Eda	Oh, no.
[Her and King are standing in the cat village, which is now destroyed. Dark clouds hang in the sky and fog clouds hang in front of the houses.]
Eda	Are you sure she came here?
King	[Sniffing.] Can't mistake her smell. Like lemons and young, naïve confidence.
Eda	Hmm.
[Eda walks up to the fountain, which is now broken and covered in dying vines. A cat wrapped in vines is laying in the lower basin. Eda kneels in front of the fountain.]
Eda	Hey! Wake up, you. [Flicks the cat's head.] What have you done with Luz? [Shakes it.] What's your endgame?
Cat	To find your pupil and still your wrath, look ahead and follow the path. [Cackles as it disintegrates.]
King	[Gasps.] The cat man melted!
Eda	[Sighs and stands.] It's a trap. They want me to follow Luz.
King	So, what do we do?
Eda	Hmm.
[Cut to the woods, where, along with Nevareth and Chris, Luz is walking with a fairy much less hostile than the one she met the day before.]
Luz	Thank you for inviting me to your feast, Princess. All your food was so tiny and cute.
Princess	[Twirls her hands and creates two bracelets.] For you, Chosen One.
Luz	[Puts the bracelets on.] Thank you. You have all been so kind and thoughtful. [Jumps and strikes a pose.] I hope this quest never ends.
Chris	Your quest will soon come to an end, for the staff you seek is around the bend.
Luz	[Drops her pose.] Thanks for ruining the mood, Chris.
Nevareth	Go on, Chosen One. The Celestial Staff is yours. You've earned it.
[Luz perks back up and continues down the path.]
Nevareth	Farewell, Lady Luz.
Princess	Farewell. We love you, Chosen One.
[Birds twitter as they fly overhead, casting long shadows below them. Luz looks away from them to focus on the path, before slowing to a stop. Luz gasps. The Celestial Staff stands on a platform in the middle of a lake, illuminated by a ray of light. As Luz approaches the edge of the lake, a glowing comes from the water, followed a few seconds later by a stone walkway rumbling into place, connecting the edge of the lake and the central platform.]
Luz	I knew this world wasn't all gloom and doom like Eda and King said. [Skipping and twirling down the walkway.] There is wonder here. And I... I think I came here for a reason.
[She pauses as she reaches the platform, staring at the staff in awe.]
Luz	Okay, this is it. Moment of truth.
[She hesitantly grabs the staff. Blue swirls of magic come out of it, creating waves in the lake as the top of the staff glows brightly. She pulls it out of the ground and holds it above her head triumphantly.]
Luz	Yes! I am the Chosen One! I knew it! I always suspected there was a reason nobody understood my wacky antics back at home. [Jumps and twirls in a circle, then holds the staff with both hands.] Now I have concrete proof. [Laughs.]
[The staff disintegrates, the dust blowing away in the wind.]
Luz	No!
[She grabs at the dust. Around her, the rest of the illusions fade: flowers at her feet wilt, water drains from the lake and retreats up the riverbanks, and even leaves disappear in a swirl.]
Luz	What?
[Cut to Eda and King flying through the woods on Eda's staff.]
Eda	I know this guy. He's no wizard. He's what you'd call a puppeteer, a demon who specializes in scamming and manipulating people. He's trying to use Luz to get to me.
King	Yeah, and we're flying directly into his trap. Hurray.
Eda	Well, if you can think of a better plan, I'd love to hear it. Hey, faster, you. [Slaps her staff.]
[Owlbert hoots. Cut to the Celestial Lake, now surrounded in fog. Luz backs up, holding her sword in front of her. Luz whimpers.]
Adegast	[Appearing from the fog.] Luz, the human.
Luz	Magical wizard?
Adegast	Your hubris has failed you, Witch Apprentice. [Cackling.]
[Adegast lifts the wizard puppet to reveal an ocotopus-like demon. The ground begins to crack.]
Luz	Huh?
[Her previous travelling companions and cats from the village arise from the stone, a tentacle in each of their backs. They're lifted in the air and surround Luz, who slowly spins around.]
Luz	Okay, Luz. Don't panic. This is classic Chosen One biz. You just have to rescue everybody and defeat the final boss.
Adegast	I am everybody! You fool, don't you see? I'm no wizard. And you're no Chosen One. I've tricked you. [Evil laughter.]
Luz	What?
[As she's distracted by the reveal, her cape floats up around her. It turns to chains, forcing her to her knees. The bracelets become hand cuffs and the ring becomes chains that lock her hands together, secured with a padlock.]
Luz	No! Betrayed by my own cool accessories. Why are you doing this?
Adegast	Your mentor has been stealing customers from my potions business for years. She must be destroyed.
Luz	Does everybody have a beef with Eda here?
[All agreeing. Luz sighs.]
Adegast	And you lured her right into my trap, all because you wanted to think you were special.
Luz	No. Joke's on you, 'cause Eda isn't stupid enough to fall for your trap.
Eda	Adegast!
Luz	Oh, heck!
[Eda and King land at the end of the walkway.]
Adegast	Eda, I have you now!
[Two cat puppets erupt from the ground, one grabbing Eda and the other King.]
Eda	That's right. You have me. Now release Luz.
King	I didn't have to be a part of this!
Adegast	Oh, she can leave. If she wants to. But I sense she wants a real fantasy.
[The Chris puppet breathes a cloud of fog at Luz. When she opens her eyes, she's free of her restraints, kneeling in a dark void. Adegast's puppets walk up to her from the dark.]
Nevareth	Stay with us, Luz. Stay with Adegast. We need you here. You could be our Chosen One.
Princess	Yeah, you can eat our tiny foods forever.
Nevereth	Luz, why would you want to live in a world where people laugh at you?
Luz	It is beautiful here.
Eda	Luz!
Luz	And you guys think I'm special.
Eda	No! [Grunts as the tentacle nearly envelops her.]
[The puppets all close in on Luz.]
Luz	But it's not real. [Grunts and waves the fog away, running forward to pick up her sword.] I am a Witch's Apprentice. And I'm gonna earn my magic staff the hard way. I believed you, Magic Man. Now feel my wrath!
[Luz stabs the wizard puppet through the stomach, making it disappear with a poof. Adegast screams. Eda and King free themselves, landing next to Luz with grunts. Luz swings her sword at the princess like it's a bat, making her poof away. Three cat puppets approach Eda. She draws a spell circle, sending a plume of orange smoke at them. They disintegrate with distorted screams. Adegast continues screaming. Nevareth tries to blindside Luz, but his yell alerts her. She catches his sword with her own and duels him.]
Luz	I thought we had a connection, Nevareth! [Plunges her sword through his chest.]
Nevareth	[Grunts.] Ah, my flawless pecs! [Poofs.]
[Eda lands next to Luz, the two sharing a smile.]
Adegast	Back off! [Holds up King.] Or the dog gets it.
King	I am not a— [Muffled grunt.]
[Eda and Luz drop their weapons and raise their hands in surrender.]
Luz	King, I'm sorry. I should have listened to you and never trusted that wizard. You were right. He isn't mystical or magical. He's just a big, slimy jerk.
[She kicks her sword, sending it flying point first into Adegast's head. He screams and drops King, who is caught by Luz. The scream changes pitch as Adegast shrinks to less than an eighth of his previous size. Eda and Luz walk up to him.]
Eda	[Picks him up.] Well, that's the last time I take an outside referral. [Eats him.] Mmm. Oh, did you want some of that?
Luz	No. I'm just confused.
Eda	Thinking of calling it quits, huh?
Luz	This place is nothing like I imagined.
Eda	Hmm. Maybe not here. But come with me. I got something to show you.
[Cut to the three of them on Eda's staff, hovering in the sky. Luz is wearing a blindfold.]
Eda	Okay, you can look.
Luz	[Takes the blindfold off.] Whoa!
[The camera pans to reveal the whole of the Boiling Isles: the decomposing body of a Titan. It's laying with its arms splayed in the sea, its skull illuminated by the setting sun.]
Eda	The bones of the Isles. Up close, the Isles can be slimy—
King	And very stinky.
Eda	And gross. But if you look at it from a different perspective...
[The three of them look to the sky above the Titan's skull, where stars are beginning to appear. As they watch, a shooting star crosses the sky, there for only a moment.]
Luz	It's beautiful.
King	Yeah. [Leans against Luz.]
Luz	Eda, how did you know that wizard was lying?
Eda	Look, kid, everyone wants to believe they're "chosen". But if we all waited around for a prophecy to make us special, [Chuckles.] we'd die waiting. And that's why you need to choose yourself.
Luz	Does that mean you'll give me a magic staff of my own?
Eda	Not yet. But... someday.
[Luz leans against Eda as they watch the sun continue to set.]